It had been long time since my last blog.

Over few months it had been a bit of roller coaster ride. I had my one year review in September, My lipreading had improved that it's back where I was at 6 month review (at my 9 month it dropped to 79) now I am hoovering at 86%, when it came to BKB (non lipreading) although I had listening practices and did very well at them but when it came to the BKB I had an panic!! I cannot believe it I was so anxious and my mind went completely blank! I could do it but it's trying to keeping me calm and confident for it! It is a tough job. I had practices with my speech and Language therapist, I was getting 80's as long I know the content of the subject, without content it's complete blank except for words of "the", "what", "and", those are the type of words we use every day. If I were to call you on the phone and say "hello" "how are you?" I would expect replies of "I am fine, thank you, or I am okay" those kind of words but if a person on other end asks me a question totally out of ransom my mind will go blank and I would panic! I need alot of confidence building. For the first time ever I had agreed to my colleague at work that I would call her (just her to begin with) within the deptartment.
My speech and Language therapist (she does do speech therapy but my sessions were purely listening therapy) had given me new project!!! Previously we worked on single words. This time is sentences. She would give me sheet and I have to keep them covered and listen to what she had said, I am only allowed to look at sentence if I heard the the words in the sentence correctly (or almost correctly). The story is about "Tin binder"? (Sp), I have never read it, I just know it's about a solider. I had to work out what she said without lipreading even just one word it was hard at first then gradually as I go through each sentences on the paper, I started to put the pieces (words) together and began recognising the whole sentences without lipreading! whoopee!! It is a long process. I will keep going to my weekly sessions with Speech and Language therapist and hope it will go well.
I am quite excited as I am getting new Phone!.... an Iphone 3Gs, I am looking forward to it because it's clear enough for me to hear on, the direct link for my processor can be plugged into it (Which I couldn't with current phone) so I can use the phone with minimal background noise. And I have talk time on it too (I had text/sms only for years!) in hope I would pluck the courage to call someone!......
Also another exciting thing is My parents and I had gutted my kitchen and started from scratch (new plaster walls, new electric sockets so on) a brand new kitchen almost completely different lay out, it had been night mare at first with the plumbing but finally I have the important stuff working well (dishwasher, sink and washing machine) The units are up and against the wall, even looking a bit faceless (no doors) it still feels big with the new lay out (my kitchen was quite small family kitchen with bad layout that took up too much wasted spaces), Sadly after 10 days my father went home to Austria. He had very busy time here we hardly spoke/ hugged/ spent time together, I have no idea when I would see him again (it was feb when I last saw him) I have got my mum for another week but as I am busy bird I don't think we'll have any time to do anything other than trying to get as much done on the kitchen.

Tomorrow I start training for Cochlear Advocate so it's time for my bed...

One year on...

The past year had been incredible journey, there are things I thought I would never achieve in my life but is now taking the sounds for granted.

There had been Love and Hate relationship with my Cochlear Implant, the bad times were the horrible high pitched sounds at the beginning like Paper rustling, cutlery on plates, pans clanging in the kitchen! This sound has now been “tuned” out as I got used to it. I don’t mind them now. The weight of it is still an issue to me, I cannot seem to get comfortable with it and had tried different methods, At the moment I am using longer hook (especially for Kids) and realised its bit more comfortable. I hope there would be an improvement soon or new lighter processor.

I still enjoy the sounds of DIFFERENT birds and can recognise some of them! My beloved dog’s tags brought me a lot of comfort of his whereabouts while out on a walk. I can now hear Misty, My very old cat, walking on tiles very softly.
The upside of having CI is that I no longer struggle to understand much. My headaches from hard conteration and tiredness from listening/lip-reading all day had radically reduced. Therefore I get more sound input of ALL of my waking hours whereas I used to pull my HA’s out as soon I am at home. And for the first time in my life I had no ear infections for at least one year and hope this continues *touches wood*
My home life had become easier as I hears water running from upstairs, boiled kettle, Microwave pinging. Now there is something dripping.... must investigate....

My friends/colleagues are getting very happy for me as they excitedly call my name just to see if I am still responding to them on the first call.

They also had taken me to my first concert and first cinema without subtitles.

I have gone through 249 batteries (83 changes) comparing to one battery change every 2 weeks with the hearing aid. I am hoping that there would be allowance for me to use rechargeable but the centre won’t give me one as they cause problems with the battery compartment and isn’t reliable. I wanted to have choices of using both batteries, disposables for when I am away from home and rechargeable when I am at home.
There is still a long journey to go, I am in process of having speech and language therapy and so far I have attended 4 hours worth, it had been going well, this therapy would help me to recognise words/phases/sentences. It would be long and hard slog. I have been without Speech hearing all my life and it would take 10,000 of hours of practice and its hard when I live alone. My hearing friend, Laura is helping me with my listening as much as she could before she goes back to Antarctica this October.

Overall I am very happy with my progress and my decision in getting CI

And oh I am having one year review (3 and a bit weeks late!!) on the 15th september, to be honest i am not looking forward to it. I had knock back at my 9 month review when my lipreading/listening scores had dropped. It would be an all day appointment. Hearing test/tune up then SLT then lunch then to see the surgeon.

Anyway.... “Happy Hearing Birthday” to my ear!

Corporate day last friday (24th)

Monday I had another tune up as the highs were starting to soften. After short tweak (my regular audi and I already communicated on email and I didn't need to have hearing test hence it was quick tune up) I am due for my one year review which will be on 15th September (my one year is 20th August)Current mappings sounds much clearer and I am able to hear water dripping DOWNSTAIRS!! Kettle boiling downstairs! the movements of the dog downstairs!! And while downstairs, I could hear my elderly cat walking very quietly on the tiles. My Dynamic Range is averaging at 45/50 dbs which is pretty good. I would have hearing test on the 15th Sept to see where I am on the audiogram but I am pretty sure it's above the 30db line.

The corporate day I had on friday was my first proper corporate day since I was activcated almost a year ago as I was activacted in the near end of the sailing season. July and August is the busiest time of the year.
We had 3 boats, 3 groups of novice sailors (some never sailed before) and we had 3 races. I and the skipper were the only professionals on board, it was blowing 30 plus knots of wind. Maybe it was bit too much for the novices as they struggled balance and to winch the jib in. So Skip and I did most of the work. Geared up in full wet weather gear and wore Buff head band to protect my CI from the elements. The "Buff" did excellent job, it not only protects it, it is very breathable as I hate wearing hats, Very light and comfortable and still allows sounds through 2 or three folds (little muffled but still hears well) also the wind isn't so loud!!
Communication wise.... it had been a amazing improvement on both sides (me and the clients!) I was yapping away without any "pardons" "Sorry I am deaf can you repeat please" And it was blowing with wind and the water was coming over the bow to the clients' delight! It was so hard to hear over backgound noise but there is noticable sounds when I am conterating to listen what I want to listen for at all the times. I could hear the count down on VHF, People calling my name. And this with strong wind noises in the background!
At the end of long physically tiring day, we won the races!!

I am sure there will be alot of listening next week as I am doing the Cowes week. Last year I stayed at the back of the boat and only lasted for one day as I was just 3 weeks post Op and hungry to do something! This time I will be doing the ginding, pulling, getting wet!!!

16th July 2008

Today, one year ago at this time (8.21am) i walked to the theatre with bag of nerves, uncertain of what my future lies.... I was about to be implanted with cochlear implant and it was last year!!!! Cannot believe how the year went! It went so quick! Roll on 20th August for my offical hearing birthday....

Jools Holland and rain...

Few weeks ago, Laura asked me if I wanted to go to a concert. I was so excited for a chance to attend to my first ever concert.

On 7th July, We attended Summer Swing at Kew Gardens in London, Jools Holland was playing. He's a Jazz/piano musician, I have never heard him before!!

With weather forecast looking bleak with heavy rains and no sunshine. It didn't dampen our moods that morning as we prepared picnic for 12 people who are Laura's cousin Lucy and her wonderful friends whom I never met! I have had met Lucy few occasions at few parties.

We left so LATE thanks to lovely Laura we had to turn back to get her passport!!

Finally we hit the long stretch of M3. Heavens opened up mid way of our 1 hour and a bit journey had made me to drive super slow on the motorway as the visibility was so bad. At first I heard this "WOOSH" sounds and thought someone had beeped, Laura said it's the rain that stopped pelting on my car when we go under the bridges!! I never heard this before.
We arrived almost dry as bone to Laura's lovely Sister Daisy who gave us cuppa and lovely toasted cake.
A little while later armed with Picnic, chair and huge golf brolly we made our 20 min walk to Kew Gardens. As we arrived, Lucy wasn't too far behind we found good spot. Laid the blankets, then the heavens opened again I retreat to my chair and put the brolly over me! then the weather behaved for the rest of evening, we enjoyed food, wine, pimms, meeting friends of Lucy's.
The music was Okay from where we were sitting. After we had our food we walked up towards to the stage joining many other people dancing... I did dance, the music sounded a lot better!! When watching the music, they used many different instruments and I could pick out which is playing... I thought "Jesus" I'd thought I would never pick a musical instrument out of few others!!
The evening went too quickly as I was enjoying it so much.
Laura had admitted that she was worried for me, she was worried that I wouldn't enjoy it, or have difficulty hearing the music, No, I had wonderful evening. I shall look forward to next one.
As evening drew to close Laura and I went back to Daisy's house, I had to leave alone back to Southampton as Laura were going to Italy for a wedding with her other part of her family.
Thank you Laura for making my evening.

Memories brought back

As I have started to read Audio books. My friend, Laura, recommended me to read Roald Dahl books.
The last time I read them were about 20 years ago, I was just a 11 year old school girl!!! It had brought memories back, I remember I was engrossed in those books, I loved Roald Dahl amazing imagation and his creative stories.
Laura and I went out to Waterstones and bought Fantastic Mr Fox Audio CD and book, along with it I also bought Danny the champion of the world book as Laura got the CD already. These CD's are unadbridged which means word to word without music and narration which made it easier and less confusing. Recently I downloaded both CD's onto Itunes which were downloaded on to my Ipod. I try and spend least 30 mins a day listening and reading.

Next Stop

.. Winchester, was my first Train announcement on a very noisy and full train yesterday... I had to check with ransom besumed stranger if I heard it right!

The new map isn't too bad but there is few issues with it as I nearly stepped into path of an ambulance, it came out round the corner from no where at full speed and I did my green man code, I guess the listen part didn't work! Thanks to my friend who suddenly realised that I couldn't hear it and grabbed me. I did hear it on my old map so on the 12Th June I am going back for yet another mapping session to see if I could get those sounds back.