Silent Sail

Happy New yEar

2011-01-02T21:47:00.003Z

I had a CI moment few days ago, after all those snow we had, for the first time in very long time, we had a VERY thick fog, the type we couldn't see the rear lights of a car unless you are right behind it, very scary while driving!
I was walking my dog, as I live quite near to a very busy cruise/shipping docks. I heard a low deep groan, I couldn't think for one minute what that sound were coming from... then it sounded again at one minute intervals, I realised it was the fog horn! I have not heard one before unless it's right next to my ear. The docks/shipping lanes/light house are at least a mile away. I think I need my super ears tuned!!

Yesterday, after New years eve party at a hearing friends house, We didn't go to sleep until 4.30 in the morning, my friends needed to leave at 7.30 to feed their horses, they had made lots of vibration which woke me up! So I woke up, packed and left the house in my PJ's in hope no one would notice me driving in my PJ's. The CI was in my PJ's pocket. When I arrived home I quickly took the dog for walk, yep in my PJ's, there were not a soul in the park thank goddess for that. Came home, did bits pieces, had breakfast, had lunch, couldn't sleep so I took the dog for a walk round the park again in my PJ's, had a bath threw my PJ's in the wash and put my clean PJ's on. At 4.30 pm, I crashed out on the sofa, woke up at 8pm as I was hungry, I had bite to eat and turned the washing machine on which I forgot earlier, then I thought, my CI must have a flat battery, I proceed to move my hand on my head and thought, jeez where's the CI? then looked at the washing machine remembering earlier the morning I put it in my PJ pocket. ARRRRRGGGGHHHH it's in the washing machine... oh man, I can't turn it off since it won't drain water which is already full, so I left it and prayed for miracle. When the cycle had stopped, I frantically looked for it, I couldn't find it, heart thumping... where is it?.. where is it?... I am really good with looking after my CI and I must be very sleep deprived if I cannot remember what I have done with my CI... Trying to think very hard where I put it, Zephyr box - nope, bathroom - nope, dog's mouth - nope, Texted my friend to look for it in her house! Looked in the car, it was on the dash board..... I must have sub consciously put it there for safe keeping since PJ's pocket didn't have a zip or a button to keep it secure. Right, panic over.

Happy New year to my afar and close by family and friends.

Rachel's visit and Snow

2010-12-14T10:20:00.004Z

Rachel Chaikof, creator of Cochlear Implant Online, She comes from Boston, USA and is currently studying in London.
She came to my house for 2 days, we had fun. On the first day, I took her round historic Winchester, I love Winchester as they have beautiful old buildings also Rachel came on the right time as we have christmas market too and a ice rink by the catheral, Rachel bought beautiful items from those little christmas huts for her future home. In the evening I took her to Mexcian resturant since it's her favourtie food. When we got back to my place, we went on Skype and talked to our greek friend Vivie Moraiti.
The next morning, We had it easy. It was bitterly cold and were about to snow, bless her she was so cold and not used to british damp cold weather. I was snug as bug, even the dog had his coat on. Rachel was wearing appropitately but maybe not enough, she needed techincal coat or a down coat. After a New Forest walk I got her into cute tiny cafe for a lovely hot chocolate completed with mashmallows and cream on top. Then took her into an antique shop! she was in awe! and bought pretty items as gifts (I am not going to say what incase someone reads this) She was really pleased with it. I took her back to the train station early than planned as I was expecting snow and knowing Britain, everything stops over few cms, Glad I took her back (but disappointed we didn't have longer time) as the snow started literally few mins later in thick flakes.
The next morning, I got couple of inches and couldn't go anywhere! Most of the roads were snowed over. Since I live in hilly area, it would be sucidial to drive on untreated roads and I didn't have any snow chains.

A cute pic of Boris in the snow, he LOVES snow and loves playing "find the tennis ball" in the snow! Amazingly he found them everytime, his sense of smell is incredible!

Miiiiaooowwww

2010-12-14T09:51:00.004Z

Few weeks ago I had quite alot of CI moments and is pretty chuffed with them the best of all was, as I was watching a film, the volume was loud but comfortable for me, I was watching a good film. Half way into the film, I heard something faint and it didn't connect with the film, so in wonder I put the TV on mute then went into another room where the sound were coming from, I heard my cat mewing outside wanting to come in. :-) I couldn't believe it! At 16 she had been giving me health scares, but so far she's trucking on and still steals food off poor Boris! She is half the weight she supposed to weigh and she's eating out of the house.

Also I had dripping taps in the bathroom for long time, the taps became impossible to tighten. Over one weekend, I finally got round to replace whole bath tap unit and the dripping had stopped completely... since then I feel quite uncomfortable with the silence! I didn't realise that dripping taps were quite soothing!!

Climbing

2010-08-06T14:06:00.003+01:00

After 10 years break and finally found a climbing buddy who happen to be deaf, under assessment for the cochlear implant, she lives quite far away but will be in my city for few months, I geared up for first climb, in a very long time, and put my spare rechargeable battery in my shorts "just in case".
I tackled the walls fairly quickly and were 6a plus within an hour! It was just like riding bike again after long break! But man, my arms, fingers, back was so sore afterwards.
When I got home and put all my clothes in the washing machine, I forgot to check the pockets. Yup, I have one washed and squeaky clean rechargable battery! It's still working, Whoo hoo and it hasn't even been in the dry and store yet but I will do the wise thing and put it in tonight and tomorrow night to make sure it's absolutely dry.

Rosie's Hen Party

2010-08-06T13:18:00.003+01:00

Last weekend, because I am the bridesmaid it's traditional for us to organise a hen party of the bride. For months, I had secretly organised a weekend in wigwams http://www.wolferlowwigwams.co.uk/ and a greatest day out at the "Go Ape" http://www.goape.co.uk/whats-it-all-about. We had such a brilliant weekend and it couldn't have been any better for Rosie.

In the evening we had campfire and played a lot of games. There was 7 of us who is profoundly deaf (and I am the only one with CI) we were in our comfort zone and signed for England, there was also Rosie's mum and her sister, who both are hearing all weekend we encouraged them to join in and they both had great time and laughed a lot even there is language barriers but they seems comfortable and enjoyed being with us and never showed any signs of isolation, Rosie, I and few others took turns by keeping them in the loop with the signing, we translated everything they had said etc we didn't feel it was a burden to do it. It's only fair when they cannot understand 7 deaf people signing very fast! what hitted us as one of the girls had said recently that if it was 7 hearing people and 2 deaf people the attitude of the hearing would be completely different such as not making sure that the deaf people are fully participate. It's always like "never mind" "tell you later" or "u have your deaf friend with you, talk to her/him" or fully explain to us what the game is about or inviting the deaf people in the game (which is mostly verbal), for us deaf it's quite sad and isolating. It's one of many reasons that I am not too keen on outings/events with hearing people apart from few people who I know very well and who bothers to explain every details of the event/whatever like it's no trouble for them I am forever grateful for those people.

Interesting isn't it?

Austria July 2010

2010-08-06T12:32:00.004+01:00

I had returned to Austria during what was the most unusual weather for the area my parent lives, Austrians weather is almost similar to typical British weather but not while I was there. It was so hot and it was 39 for few days, the lowest it went were 29 which is higher than average but the weather was beautiful with cornflower blue skies with very little puff of mare tails. I had swam in the local pool just few steps from my parents house almost daily, there were virtually no chloride, just pure mountain water, little chilly but it was nothing better than dunking in a chilly pool after a very hot day. Of course the CI remains in my room in the house. I had to rely on my mum for communication and awareness of what's happening but that didn't stop us from enjoying the pool.

We went blueberry picking whilst my dad went mushroom hunting, I heard the waterfalls. We had a dog staying for the weekend, I took him for a walk through long grassed fields and I heard a lot of noise! It was the crickets and there was A LOT of them leaping out as we walked through the grass.
We took a day trip to Bibione Beach in Italy, My parents fell in love with this beach and vowed that next time we would stay in Bibione for night or two to make most of the sea! It's 2 and half hours drive which is not ideal for daily trips to the beach! And it's not far from Venice.

My parents had made alot of friends in their village and I am so happy to see them enjoying their new life in different country where there is few language barriers. I (and my brother) became the important person in their life as their friends always asks after us and wants to see us when I am in Austria. One lady in particular who speaks half a dozen languages! were so interested to see how I developed spoken language even I was born profoundly deaf. She and I spoke quite a lot last time I visited but this time we didn't have time to visit her. There was another lady who lives opposite to my parents house, she got a nephew who lives in Germany and he has got a CI. She had always asked my mum how I got on with mine. I went to her house with mum but my mum didn't stay long and left me with her. At this point I would have clammed up and tried to escape but I was totally chilled. I was feeling very confident talking to her in her fluent english with soft accent! I loved listening to her! We talked quite a bit. I don't see them often as I wished but I am glad I can understand her well. On my final day my mum and I went to another person's house, I said to mum "why are you coming with me?" realising that I am perfectly capable of speaking to people so she left me and smiled. This person, He has very strange personality but very intellgent, a very nice man but sadly not in the best of health. We spoke for a bit in fluent english with beligan accent then we said our good byes, I walked back to the house.

When we reached the airport, I realise that wearing CI through the metal scanner is harmless so I decided to see what will happen, since this airport is very small it only got one detector and small group of security it's not possible that they would always have female available. Few times they had refused to turn the detector off for the sake of the queues so I had to wait until there were clearance. But with it being very small airport my flight could have gone without me! So this time I went through with CI on my ear, switched on, card in my hand, the detector beeped (yeah the first time I ever heard it beeps!) the lady guard wanded me and I heard the noise from the wand as it got near my ear. With the german card, She was happy to let me go. And I was completely unaffected by the experience and will contiune to so.

A new Hearing aid

2010-06-30T00:05:00.003+01:00

Since my last blog, I took the plunge and went to my hearing aid clinic. I have not been there since I was refered to the CI centre, the CI centre provided me with temporary HA for my unimplanted ear to keep me out of the silence for 5 weeks while I was recovering from the operation. That hearing aid was an analouge and did pretty good job of hearing the environmental sounds but with the cochlear implant, I couldn't tell if it was on or off! I went weeks without realising that the battery were dead and thats when I took my CI off to change the battery! Duh Oh...

I had alot of listening practices with the Speech and language therapist, at first I used both ears and realised I found it little easier to listen with both ears not just CI alone. I think it's because I get better low frequency input from the hearing aid. This influences me to get my self in gear and get new hearing aid. I got my mum to call the audiology department at my hospital and were surprised with very quick appt date, usually they put me on the list and sometimes I had to wait 3 months, but not this time, I only waited few days and they already had HA all set up and ready for me to use. I received a Phonak Supero, it's a digital hearing aid. At first I found it hard to use, the sounds were so tinny, and over powering the CI, everyone sounded as if they are on helium... I remembered 2 years back when I was first switch on, it was just like that, so I said, I will try it for few weeks and see how I get on with it. The audiologist was surprised at my response as most people would immediately hate it in the room! I didn't like it at first but I knew if I waited and got used to it then it might be worth it. I am glad I did, after 3 weeks of helium sounds it finally the sounds became more sense! The audiologist had setted the HA to the max which means this hearing aid have no more room if I loose any more hearing or lose the benefit of it.

I am picking more speech sounds without lipreading, today I got a teacher to sign some papers for my course and while I was looking at my papers I heard her saying, "I need a pen, do you have one on you?" then I went to the other room to get the pen without looking back at her and came back with a pen, she looked at me flabbersgated, she had known me when I was at the school as child, she used to work very hard to help me with oral speech since I couldn't hear any speech now with bit of practice, a new hearing aid and wonderful cochlear implant. She smiled and saw the success of the CI.

Today I heard some strange noises and couldn't work it out until I realised it was the battery dying on my hearing aid! I am pretty pleased that I finally could tell if the battery is dying.

The nice thing about the superos is that they are 1/3 rd smaller than my old hearing aid. I asked for brown one to match with my Cochlear implant/and my hair they said no... so I will work on it....

Long time no see, no hear, no speak, no blogging!

2010-06-01T12:58:00.006+01:00

Over the last few months had been very busy with the following...

College:- I have been doing a lot of college work which I am very glad to say is now OVER!!! I have few things to tweak, complete before having professional discussion to sign me off as COMPLETED, I really enjoyed my time at college and will miss the busy life. I am hoping to seek further education once I know what I am doing in September.
While I was at college, I had to do Maths and English exams to see if I am up to scratch, I am pleased I got 85% in Maths and hoping to get similar for English which is on 21st of June.
I am loving the school life! I love the kids, they look up at me with their pleading eyes and asks if I am coming back in September (which I am not sadly!)so, I have got 5 short and quick weeks left with them and will miss them a lot. They have been a great sport with my assignments (I had to do case studies about some of them)

Love life:- I have new (well since January) love in my life that had been keeping me very busy, his name is Tim, he is a lovely guy and it is going very well.

Cochlear Implant:- I am just 2 months short of 2 year "switch on" anniversary (20.08.2008), the mappings seems to have settled as I haven't had real map since one year anniversary last september, although it's going very well and I seem to have become a calmer person and is less stressed out as I get on with my life much easier. This morning, I had a dutch people asking me for directions to the supermarket, I heard them the first time without asking them to repeat!
Heard what people say in the shops without looking at them. It seems to only happen on really good day, a person that are speaking nice and crystal clear, I am pleased that my wish for less lipreading had started to happen, to keep my expecations low, I know it won't be perfect.
I can almost understand sentences without lipreading but as long I know the context. For my seesions, I am now on one syllabe words such as identifying a word out of list like Pat, Mat, Bat, Cat, Sat, Fat etc...
I am having integrity test to see if there is way to re arrange my map to get the middle freqency (I have one switched off) which is vital for sounds like Bit, Bed, Pit, Pet as I can't hear the I and E sounds very well.

One day I pushed the battery into my controller and it cracked big time! I had always been very cautious about pushing battery cages in after few stories of cracked controller and thought it would never happen to me but it did!! I got brand new replacement very quickly.

Recently, I had fallen ill with ear infection, my first one since I had the implant (Pre implant I used to have ear infections 2/3 times a year), it was strange, as it was only in the implant side, my implanted ear was red, my throat was one sided red and I had temp of 100oF, the nurse weren't sure if I can have antibiotics drops for the ear so she had put me on 5 day course of oral antibiotics which means I cannot have a glass of wine!

I am looking forward to finishing the school year and to have proper break! I do need it, my brain is fried!! LOL... I will be going back to Austria for a weeks holiday straight after the school breaks up.

Hope you all are keeping well and busy.

Take care

Changes.....

2010-03-17T02:20:00.005Z

After reading Rachel's (www.cochlearimplantonline.com) post on Facebook about people's music on their blogs, some of the people had added very good points and I felt it was time to change my blog as I realised that black back ground is quite hard to read for some people so after nearly 2 years I have new background!!..... And a new photo....

I am now also a Cochlear Advocate for UK, they have put up my personal story on http://www.drum-online.com/ci/help--advice.aspx scroll down to the bottom, I am the one on the horse!

2010 and reflection of 2000's

2010-01-01T20:23:00.004Z

Goodness me the last 10 years had gone so quick,

It wasn't that long after I left 16 years of full time education (12 in school and 4in College)

Exactly 10 years ago last night, In Morzine, France. I was skiing down the mountains at stroke of midnight holding flame torch just wearing my shorts and tee shirt, it was freezing cold but the sky was so clear, we were celebrating the millennium, we could see the fireworks going off in the village from middle of the mountain!

Went on first ever solo holiday in San Francisco and Los Angeles! I just said mum (When I had bad bout of tonsillitis and were completely exhausted) I need a holiday then few weeks later I was on the plane to the unknown. Coming home was bit of nightmare as I missed the flight by alot of hours! Sorry, mum!

Selected to join 16 amateurs and one professional skipper on world's toughest yacht race, raced round the world against 11 other boats. I was the only deaf and one of the youngest in entire fleet of 250 crews and it was emotional, physical but exhilarating trip, we were placed 3rd over all. Whilst racing round the world, I explored 5 wonderful countries, the States, South America, New Zealand, Australia, and South Africa.

Visited deaf schools in Boston and Wellington telling them about my experiences.

Got job in the sailing industry and loved it.

I took my best friend who never had holiday without her family on memorable trip to New York just 8 short months after 9/11, The scenery and smell were unforgettable. We also went to Niagara falls and Toronto. We had brilliant time, Rosie got the travelling bug after this trip.

2006 I finally flew the nest at age of 28!!

Had horses, I lost both, one was a feisty Anglo Arab called Remy, in 2003 and one a gentle giant ex racehorse, Buck, in 2009, I miss them but don't miss the cold mornings of getting up so early to sort them out before I start my day, don't miss the mud! I won't have another one at the moment, I don't have the time or money for them. I will have another one (more likely another ex racehorse) one day.

In 2006 I gained a new member of my family, Boris, a little white jack Russell, he joined my old cat and I. Yes, the old cat, Misty is still alive and kicking, she is 16 this year she may look bit bedraggled and slightly greyer/whiter but she still got her springs!

Is on third car in 10 years.

I had my cochlear implant switched on 20-08-2008 and it had been roller coaster ride but now as it improves as I gain confidence in listening. It also enabled me to join the blogging world, with this CI I gained so many new friends (cyber or real) worldwide, asked for advice, gave advice and generally became good (I hope) member of the community.

Just recently I had few brief conversations with my mum on the phone which I never did all my life! Had list of firsts but my favourties were the bird singing, my 15 year old cat meow, my beloved Buck wickering at some distance away, I still listen for Boris' collar tags jangling every time we go for walk.

Enrolled into college last September to become learning support assistant - L.S.A, I have been helping out at deaf school and mainstream school with deaf unit helping the children with maths and literacy, I had awesome fun and look forward to going back to school next Monday! I am doing very well with my assignments/college course, my tutor have no doubts at all.

Cooked my first ever xmas dinner for me and my brother, and it came out brilliant.

Here's to another 10 years.... I know it going to be very busy 2010!!

Breakthrough

2009-12-20T22:46:00.003Z

I had lovely but brief conversation with mum on the phone this afternoon!! it was amazing feeling to beable to hear her voice! my confidence had started to build! Thank you to Iphone and the personal audio cable (PAC) it helps greatly to block out background noise.

Very happy bunny!

It had been long time since my last blog.

2009-11-04T07:00:00.005Z

Over few months it had been a bit of roller coaster ride. I had my one year review in September, My lipreading had improved that it's back where I was at 6 month review (at my 9 month it dropped to 79) now I am hoovering at 86%, when it came to BKB (non lipreading) although I had listening practices and did very well at them but when it came to the BKB I had an panic!! I cannot believe it I was so anxious and my mind went completely blank! I could do it but it's trying to keeping me calm and confident for it! It is a tough job. I had practices with my speech and Language therapist, I was getting 80's as long I know the content of the subject, without content it's complete blank except for words of "the", "what", "and", those are the type of words we use every day. If I were to call you on the phone and say "hello" "how are you?" I would expect replies of "I am fine, thank you, or I am okay" those kind of words but if a person on other end asks me a question totally out of ransom my mind will go blank and I would panic! I need alot of confidence building. For the first time ever I had agreed to my colleague at work that I would call her (just her to begin with) within the deptartment.
My speech and Language therapist (she does do speech therapy but my sessions were purely listening therapy) had given me new project!!! Previously we worked on single words. This time is sentences. She would give me sheet and I have to keep them covered and listen to what she had said, I am only allowed to look at sentence if I heard the the words in the sentence correctly (or almost correctly). The story is about "Tin binder"? (Sp), I have never read it, I just know it's about a solider. I had to work out what she said without lipreading even just one word it was hard at first then gradually as I go through each sentences on the paper, I started to put the pieces (words) together and began recognising the whole sentences without lipreading! whoopee!! It is a long process. I will keep going to my weekly sessions with Speech and Language therapist and hope it will go well.
I am quite excited as I am getting new Phone!.... an Iphone 3Gs, I am looking forward to it because it's clear enough for me to hear on, the direct link for my processor can be plugged into it (Which I couldn't with current phone) so I can use the phone with minimal background noise. And I have talk time on it too (I had text/sms only for years!) in hope I would pluck the courage to call someone!......
Also another exciting thing is My parents and I had gutted my kitchen and started from scratch (new plaster walls, new electric sockets so on) a brand new kitchen almost completely different lay out, it had been night mare at first with the plumbing but finally I have the important stuff working well (dishwasher, sink and washing machine) The units are up and against the wall, even looking a bit faceless (no doors) it still feels big with the new lay out (my kitchen was quite small family kitchen with bad layout that took up too much wasted spaces), Sadly after 10 days my father went home to Austria. He had very busy time here we hardly spoke/ hugged/ spent time together, I have no idea when I would see him again (it was feb when I last saw him) I have got my mum for another week but as I am busy bird I don't think we'll have any time to do anything other than trying to get as much done on the kitchen.

Tomorrow I start training for Cochlear Advocate so it's time for my bed...

One year on...

2009-08-20T09:30:00.003+01:00

The past year had been incredible journey, there are things I thought I would never achieve in my life but is now taking the sounds for granted.

There had been Love and Hate relationship with my Cochlear Implant, the bad times were the horrible high pitched sounds at the beginning like Paper rustling, cutlery on plates, pans clanging in the kitchen! This sound has now been “tuned” out as I got used to it. I don’t mind them now. The weight of it is still an issue to me, I cannot seem to get comfortable with it and had tried different methods, At the moment I am using longer hook (especially for Kids) and realised its bit more comfortable. I hope there would be an improvement soon or new lighter processor.

I still enjoy the sounds of DIFFERENT birds and can recognise some of them! My beloved dog’s tags brought me a lot of comfort of his whereabouts while out on a walk. I can now hear Misty, My very old cat, walking on tiles very softly.
The upside of having CI is that I no longer struggle to understand much. My headaches from hard conteration and tiredness from listening/lip-reading all day had radically reduced. Therefore I get more sound input of ALL of my waking hours whereas I used to pull my HA’s out as soon I am at home. And for the first time in my life I had no ear infections for at least one year and hope this continues *touches wood*
My home life had become easier as I hears water running from upstairs, boiled kettle, Microwave pinging. Now there is something dripping.... must investigate....

My friends/colleagues are getting very happy for me as they excitedly call my name just to see if I am still responding to them on the first call.

They also had taken me to my first concert and first cinema without subtitles.

I have gone through 249 batteries (83 changes) comparing to one battery change every 2 weeks with the hearing aid. I am hoping that there would be allowance for me to use rechargeable but the centre won’t give me one as they cause problems with the battery compartment and isn’t reliable. I wanted to have choices of using both batteries, disposables for when I am away from home and rechargeable when I am at home.
There is still a long journey to go, I am in process of having speech and language therapy and so far I have attended 4 hours worth, it had been going well, this therapy would help me to recognise words/phases/sentences. It would be long and hard slog. I have been without Speech hearing all my life and it would take 10,000 of hours of practice and its hard when I live alone. My hearing friend, Laura is helping me with my listening as much as she could before she goes back to Antarctica this October.

Overall I am very happy with my progress and my decision in getting CI

And oh I am having one year review (3 and a bit weeks late!!) on the 15th september, to be honest i am not looking forward to it. I had knock back at my 9 month review when my lipreading/listening scores had dropped. It would be an all day appointment. Hearing test/tune up then SLT then lunch then to see the surgeon.

Anyway.... “Happy Hearing Birthday” to my ear!

Corporate day last friday (24th)

2009-07-26T09:59:00.004+01:00

Monday I had another tune up as the highs were starting to soften. After short tweak (my regular audi and I already communicated on email and I didn't need to have hearing test hence it was quick tune up) I am due for my one year review which will be on 15th September (my one year is 20th August)Current mappings sounds much clearer and I am able to hear water dripping DOWNSTAIRS!! Kettle boiling downstairs! the movements of the dog downstairs!! And while downstairs, I could hear my elderly cat walking very quietly on the tiles. My Dynamic Range is averaging at 45/50 dbs which is pretty good. I would have hearing test on the 15th Sept to see where I am on the audiogram but I am pretty sure it's above the 30db line.

The corporate day I had on friday was my first proper corporate day since I was activcated almost a year ago as I was activacted in the near end of the sailing season. July and August is the busiest time of the year.
We had 3 boats, 3 groups of novice sailors (some never sailed before) and we had 3 races. I and the skipper were the only professionals on board, it was blowing 30 plus knots of wind. Maybe it was bit too much for the novices as they struggled balance and to winch the jib in. So Skip and I did most of the work. Geared up in full wet weather gear and wore Buff head band to protect my CI from the elements. The "Buff" did excellent job, it not only protects it, it is very breathable as I hate wearing hats, Very light and comfortable and still allows sounds through 2 or three folds (little muffled but still hears well) also the wind isn't so loud!!
Communication wise.... it had been a amazing improvement on both sides (me and the clients!) I was yapping away without any "pardons" "Sorry I am deaf can you repeat please" And it was blowing with wind and the water was coming over the bow to the clients' delight! It was so hard to hear over backgound noise but there is noticable sounds when I am conterating to listen what I want to listen for at all the times. I could hear the count down on VHF, People calling my name. And this with strong wind noises in the background!
At the end of long physically tiring day, we won the races!!

I am sure there will be alot of listening next week as I am doing the Cowes week. Last year I stayed at the back of the boat and only lasted for one day as I was just 3 weeks post Op and hungry to do something! This time I will be doing the ginding, pulling, getting wet!!!

16th July 2008

2009-07-16T08:21:00.005+01:00

Today, one year ago at this time (8.21am) i walked to the theatre with bag of nerves, uncertain of what my future lies.... I was about to be implanted with cochlear implant and it was last year!!!! Cannot believe how the year went! It went so quick! Roll on 20th August for my offical hearing birthday....

Jools Holland and rain...

2009-07-09T16:03:00.003+01:00

Few weeks ago, Laura asked me if I wanted to go to a concert. I was so excited for a chance to attend to my first ever concert.

On 7th July, We attended Summer Swing at Kew Gardens in London, Jools Holland was playing. He's a Jazz/piano musician, I have never heard him before!!

With weather forecast looking bleak with heavy rains and no sunshine. It didn't dampen our moods that morning as we prepared picnic for 12 people who are Laura's cousin Lucy and her wonderful friends whom I never met! I have had met Lucy few occasions at few parties.

We left so LATE thanks to lovely Laura we had to turn back to get her passport!!

Finally we hit the long stretch of M3. Heavens opened up mid way of our 1 hour and a bit journey had made me to drive super slow on the motorway as the visibility was so bad. At first I heard this "WOOSH" sounds and thought someone had beeped, Laura said it's the rain that stopped pelting on my car when we go under the bridges!! I never heard this before.
We arrived almost dry as bone to Laura's lovely Sister Daisy who gave us cuppa and lovely toasted cake.
A little while later armed with Picnic, chair and huge golf brolly we made our 20 min walk to Kew Gardens. As we arrived, Lucy wasn't too far behind we found good spot. Laid the blankets, then the heavens opened again I retreat to my chair and put the brolly over me! then the weather behaved for the rest of evening, we enjoyed food, wine, pimms, meeting friends of Lucy's.
The music was Okay from where we were sitting. After we had our food we walked up towards to the stage joining many other people dancing... I did dance, the music sounded a lot better!! When watching the music, they used many different instruments and I could pick out which is playing... I thought "Jesus" I'd thought I would never pick a musical instrument out of few others!!
The evening went too quickly as I was enjoying it so much.
Laura had admitted that she was worried for me, she was worried that I wouldn't enjoy it, or have difficulty hearing the music, No, I had wonderful evening. I shall look forward to next one.
As evening drew to close Laura and I went back to Daisy's house, I had to leave alone back to Southampton as Laura were going to Italy for a wedding with her other part of her family.
Thank you Laura for making my evening.

Memories brought back

2009-06-13T11:50:00.005+01:00

As I have started to read Audio books. My friend, Laura, recommended me to read Roald Dahl books.
The last time I read them were about 20 years ago, I was just a 11 year old school girl!!! It had brought memories back, I remember I was engrossed in those books, I loved Roald Dahl amazing imagation and his creative stories.
Laura and I went out to Waterstones and bought Fantastic Mr Fox Audio CD and book, along with it I also bought Danny the champion of the world book as Laura got the CD already. These CD's are unadbridged which means word to word without music and narration which made it easier and less confusing. Recently I downloaded both CD's onto Itunes which were downloaded on to my Ipod. I try and spend least 30 mins a day listening and reading.

Next Stop

2009-06-05T17:58:00.002+01:00

.. Winchester, was my first Train announcement on a very noisy and full train yesterday... I had to check with ransom besumed stranger if I heard it right!

The new map isn't too bad but there is few issues with it as I nearly stepped into path of an ambulance, it came out round the corner from no where at full speed and I did my green man code, I guess the listen part didn't work! Thanks to my friend who suddenly realised that I couldn't hear it and grabbed me. I did hear it on my old map so on the 12Th June I am going back for yet another mapping session to see if I could get those sounds back.

What is mappings?

2009-05-30T18:09:00.008+01:00

I recently went on my 9 month review. It had been so fast few months and I cannot believe I have been hearing properly for 9 and a bit months. Unfortunately my CUNY test had dropped a bit to 79%, I did have bit of difficulty in lipreading recently hence drop in my CUNY test so I had major 2 and half hours of tuning, Sadly it's still not quite right so would have to call on Monday for another tune up. BUT.... the good news I had 3 of my 4 turned off electrodes switched back on. I had them turned off last October due to strange non auditory stimulation sensations on my temple. By one, Sarah, my audiologist, turned them back on and increased the volume until it matched my other electrode's levels and it was fine until she turned the Number 14 electrode on it was very low and immediately I could feel it again so she turned it back off, I may never have it back on again as we think it will always cause the sensations.
My mum who came along for her very first sit in at my mapping session since my first assessment back in January 2008!!! She had eventual morning of understanding the technical side of how the implant works. I think she found it a bit mind numbing but enjoyed her morning learning something new. She asked for copy of my Map....

If anyone wonders what mapping is, as I have a computer chip on my ear and it's so small that we cannot programme it so I have to be wired up to the bog standard laptop using half of my processor and cable to the lap top. Why lap top, because as an implantee with electronic device on my ear the lap top need to be powered by battery so I won't get electric shocks from wall plug!!

Each time I get tune up, my internal implant get checked out then the mappings starts....

this is my current map...

It's very technical to explain, I'll try my best..

The numbers 22 to 5 is my electrode numbers, the 4-1 is hidden behind the scrolls on right hand side. 22 is low frequency 1 is high frequency.

Red bars is my threshold (T)
Green bars is the quietest sound I can hear (C)
Blue bars (there's 3) above or in line with red bars are the levels that NRT (Nerve Response Test), it was tested while I was under GA at hospital during my CI operation almost year ago and I had it tested again recently so they can see where my nerve is responding and what level I could tolerate. This is commonly used in little kids as they cannot tell the audiologist what they are hearing or if it's too loud for them, the Blue bars tells the audiologist that it's far enough, sometimes after we were switched on and hearing alot more than ever the nerves works alot more harder the blue bars often goes up as the sounds gets quieter.

On left side states what implant (freedom), map number (#68), Strategy is ACE, Rate 900 hz, this is speed of current that sound travels from outside through the electrode to the nerve.

DR is Dynamic range
LF is low Frequency (not sure how that works) Sarah said they only test people 250 (Low Frequency) to 4000 Hz (High frequency) as it is within the speech range so there is no point for them to test either sides of 250/4000hz.

http://www.listen-up.org/ci/mapping.htm here's link to bit more details, you may need cup of tea and few biscuits as it is a bit long.

Monsters vs Aliens

2009-05-07T11:37:00.003+01:00

Last night I went to cinema with a friend. It was the first time I went since I was implanted nearly a year ago. We watched Monsters vs Aliens 3D, It's cartoon. Because of 3D there is no subtitles. Of course I was a bit cautious about not being able to understand it let alone enjoy it....

Guess what... I was able to understand some of what they were saying without the need of subtitles and I really enjoyed it tremdously.

Uh Oh, lesson learnt.

2009-04-30T08:58:00.003+01:00

I have been really good in the past 8 and half months since my activation day to carry my spare batteries. Mum used to nag me all my life to carry spare battery for my hearing aids but I always never bothered, why... For one I never really heard much through HA's and sometimes don't notice if they are flat and when they are flat I just take them out and leave in my pockets! 2nd thing... they last long time. One battery per Hearing aid used to last me 2 weeks at most so I didn't think i need to carry them all the time so I never paid attention to my mum's nagging.

The Cochlear Implant had changed my life because I took the sounds for granted and I love wearing it. THREE batteries for one implant lasts me 4 days. It gets shorter as my mappings/hearing improves over time.

I have been so busy lately and today is my first day to myself in weeks! Yesterday I was called into work as bit of emergency as we are expecting heavy rains the next 2 days so we needed to get the outside jobs done. While working I heard beep beep.... yep my Cochlear implant battery is going... ok I have half an hour before it goes completely flat... wrong it went FLAT in 5 mins, I think I missed the half hour warning as we were outside and it's windy. I ran to the office... can't find a packet of batteries, so went to the car, yay 2 packets... oh no they both are full of flat batteries. How stupid of me. I faced few hours of complete silence and whitewash noise in my other ear which is bearing a Hearing aid, no birds, no wind, no voices, no dog tags, just completely jumbled up sounds that made no sense at all.

Over few weeks my friends, collegues had noticed that they didn't need to tap my shoulder or shout to get my attention. Yesterday my collegue realised that my Hearing aid (in my other ear) isn't doing any justice and had to tap my shoulder. I felt despair! I was almost in tears and realised that my CI is very important part of my life and I must kick myself into gear and replace all the batteries in the car, my bag and leave couple of packets at work.

This made me realise that prospect of going Bilateral (cochlear implants for both ears), I would love to have 2, I think I would be perfect candiate for it BUT according to NICE guidelines which was renewed recently stating that I can't have another one unless I am under 19, visually impaired or phsyically disabled. Other soulution to this is to fund myself... I don't think so as each implant/device costs £40,000 roughly and there's after care for the rest of my life which could be around £3000 per year.

Oh well lets hope there is something better for my unimplanted ear soon.

Right off to collect old batteries and replacing them with spanking new packet plus an extra packet!

New CI moments...

2009-04-21T14:28:00.003+01:00

For few weeks something was nagging me... I realised i couldn't hear my dog tags or the cultery noises in the sink.... things were sounding just so muffled, like it had lost it's clairty. So I emailed to Sarah my Audi who said i could see her the next day. It had been a record of 3 months since my last mapping!

Had hearing test, on the audiogram it had showed that my high freqency hearing had gone down on a long steep ski slope!! Sarah reckons that my brain had got used to it alot and it just went quieter quickly than usual. I am so glad I noticed it and I felt that i wasn't wasting anyone's time.

We had long tweaking, tuning and 3 hearing tests I am back to where I was but bit better clairty than before.... psst i could go on to 20db across the board but Sarah feels I am not ready for quiet sounds!! so she tweaked my CI back to 30/35db across the board. My dog tags is back. The cultery noise is back to my annoyance! Added some music software on to my programs for me to try out when listening through my Ipod.

My godness..... I could pick out Elton John "candle in the wind" ABBA "Mamma Mia" out of 15 songs straightaway without even looking!!! I was in awe, I couldn't believe it.

I was discussing with my collegue at work and then he made phone call to our boss, I OVER HEARD what they were talking about without lipreading... all this I knew what he was talking about since we already talked about it.

I like this mapping!

My 9 month review is on the 27th May and mum is coming home for it... it will be her first involvement to my mapping session and hearing tests since I was implanted.

Happy Mother's day, Mum

2009-03-22T09:58:00.003Z

Hi Mum, Hope you are having great day and dad is spoiling you for us (my brother and I) I am sorry I couldn't be there with you but I am there in spirit. I appreciate your help over the years and I love you (and dad) very much. Hope you are coming back in UK for a visit soon.

Since it's Mother's Day today in UK, I attempted to call my mum, sadly the phone weren't loud enough so I had to text her instead.

Few days ago I was annoyed by response of the sensory centre who helps deaf/HOH people to test out phones. My cochlear implant recommended me and a friend also a CI user to the sensory centre. We arrived there expecting to try at least one phone but left without trying ONE phone. The lady said we need phone training...eh! and they are sorting this out with my CI centre, why would my CI centre tell us to go there without "phone training" also this is very first we had heard of and the CI centre never mentioned this. So we have to wait until at least April for our appointment. I so wanted to get the phone that I can use/hear well/clarity is clear enough so I could call my mum on her Mother's day as I know this would make her day. Oh well... Never mind, there's next year, mum.

On good note I am picking up alot of new sounds....

I can hear my mobile phone ringing in the next room!!!

I have the pleasure of hearing my beloved dog Boris tags jangling while we are out walking. This gave me chance to keep walking knowing his whereabouts up to about 30 feet without looking, if the jangling stops, I would check for him. Pre Implant I was always looking around and keeping eye on Boris, I was frightened for his safety.

Yesterday, We were playing ball. I threw a ball over towards to the pavement, Boris ran so fast and stopped on the pavement.. I could hear him skidding on the pavement... owwwiieee!! that must be painful, I checked his paws... tough little bugger was fine!

I can tell the difference between different bird singing.. Magpies, Jays, Crow, but having difficulty identifying black bird, blue tit their singing is very high and sound similar. I walk around the park hearing all those singing at ease, no struggling to listen.

So far I had same mapping since before I went to Austria more than 2 months ago, it does need tiny tweaking but I think I would settle for this mappings until Mid May when I go for my 9 month tune up, But I don't think I need much of tune up.

Mum's cherry tree had bloomed, daffodils had come out and it had been really beautiful and sunny all week. Hope this would continue next week as I am off to Centre Parc for long weekend.

6 month evaluation

2009-02-18T19:37:00.004Z

Today I had my 6 month evaluation.....

I am still in the 30/35 db range, since i still experience loud environmental sounds they can't be any better yet.

But.... I got 86% for CUNY! (lipreading and voice) yay!!

Tried the BKB (ransom sentences with voice but no lipreading).... got few words but still can't make out the sentences.

I didn't have any mapping change as the current ones seems to suit me at the moment. Sarah the Audi did add extra to one of my program to enable me to hear the ipod bit better.

Had Speech/language therapy, the therapist was chuffed to bits with my speech comparing to 1 year ago (pre CI), I was told that my speech would NOT improve, proved them wrong didn't I and I didn't have any speech therapy since the switch on (actually since I was 16). She tested some sentences without lipreading, got approx 20 out of 30 sentences right!! whoooo hooo... never thought I would achieve this! I am pleased as punch as everything seems to be on the right path.

At the end of my evaluation I volunteered to help Sarah and another Audi to be their guinea pig, testing a new equipment that they haven't tried before today. I was the 2nd guinea pig to test for them... I think they need more practice to make it sense!!
Basically the new test is similar ABR (auditory brainstem response)test which I had during my candiacy assessment. This time they are doing this with the implant. The connections is same as ABR and using same connections as we would have done with mapping, all I had was 4 sticky electrodes on my head, processor plugged in to the computer, it reads the waves of my brain responses to the sound using the CI.
They want to see how people progress with their auditory nerve/brain stem before and after CI operation. Pre implant I had poor responses (in their words) and today the responses is very good.

Overall it had been great afternoon! Sarah had booked me down for 3 months time instead of 6 month, she felt that I would need another tune up/envaluation sooner than 6 month.

Oh the spring is here for me.... Heard the birds sing this morning.. Can't wait for my Mum's cherry tree to bloom and the tulips to emerge as they are my favourtie flowers.

E-Postcard from Austria

2009-02-02T12:35:00.006Z

Dear Friends and Family,

Hereby I am in Austria on 2 week holiday, spending time with my Parents and of course my first experince on the slopes with the Cochlear implant. I must say it had been a surreal time!

On Saturday morning of 24th January, Very early I say! I went to Southampton Airport, it's a very small airport which is a bonus because I could hear the tannoy almost word to word!!! no jumbled garbles! When my flight were anncounced to be boarded some 20 mins late! It said "PASSEGERS OF FLIGHT NUMBER xxxxxx TO SALZBURG PLEASE PROCEED TO THE BOARDING GATE 7" I was dumbfound when I heard it! I was sort of expected what to listen for but weren't expected to hear the whole thing clear as day!

It was small and quiet plane, Not full plane more of half full plane of 70 or so people. Behind me was a little boy, as I noticed that his father who were sitting next to him had been reading DR Who to him and showing posters of those sci fi robots etc. Later perhaps halfway through the flight, I heard whisper "lady" then again then a small hand reached to my shoulder obviously he wanted to say something. I had my hair down, the coil tucked under my hair but sometimes my hair slides, the coil can be exposed. The little boy of about 4 or 5 said "what is it on your head?" I thought of DR who... I said "I am a cyborg" his eyes were wide as saucers and went "wow!" So I took it off and showed him, explained to him and his father what's it is. I had made a friend for the rest of the flight! I haven't yet spoke to a small child since I had the implant, and here on the plane is me and him chattering away about Dr Who!.

When we made to my parents, they had made every effort to make the house less Echoy, It is still echoy but so much better than it was in October which I was unable to wear the processor during the time we were in the house. This time I had worn the processor all the time. I am so glad of Sarah my audi made a quieter programme of my usual program which I was able to use in the house more comfortably. And the usual program when I am out and about.
I had heard alot of new sounds. When skiing I could hear myself over the snow and Ice. I also heard other people skiing while I was on chair lift. In Nassfeld at halfway point there is a huge boom boxes that blast out music (I don't know how people can eat next to them!) I could hear it up some 1000 meters away!
With 1.5 meters already compacted in the garden (above 2 meters up on the ski slopes)We still keep getting fresh blanket of snow on daily bais. Some of the days it had snowed so much the visiblity were quite bad we couldn't hardly see. On sunny days (only two of it so far!) I had blast down the mountians feeling alot more confident since i can hear people behind me. I also had started to wear helmet due to that if I fall I wouldn't want the skis to hit the back of my head especially since I have the implant lodged on my skull and wouldn't want reimplant. Prevention is better than cure!! I had few trials and errors wearing the processor and helmet! On the first day of wearing the helmet with the sunglasses, I found out that the sunglasses arms a bit too thick and it was causing sore skin just below where the implant lies so tried the extra padding on the 2nd day but it keeps pushing the coil off so I ripped the padding out, tried the Helmet/goggles/no extra padding it has been great since! so I have found the solution.
I had been taking pictures, i heard different types of clicking on the camera! I didn't know they do different sounds!...
Since it had snowed so much my parents house is huge and needs the paths cleared often so we won't get snowed in! I had been helping my father snow shovelling resulting few blisters in my hands! It had been fun. One really heavy snow day instead of skiing we went to Ikea 40 mins away for few things for their house, on the way there the roads wasn't too bad. On return trip the snowfall was getting heavy the motorways were getting covered in settled snow of few cms or so, you would have thought gritting but they used huge snow ploughers (one on each lane) every 5 kilometers or so causing few Tail back of traffic. Over night it snowed another 4 inches and another snow shovelling session before we could go skiing.

Before my arrival my mum had twisted her ankle so were confinded in the house for few days doing ironing, sewing, etc. I was on the computer one evening playing games, I heard gentle swishing "swish swish".... I looked for the sound... it was my mum ironing! She looked at me in amazement and said "this is so quiet!"
I also had few phone call practises to Blighty, One to my Aunt Jackie who was blabbing after few sentences as she couldn't contain her exticement for speaking to me on the phone! One to my Brother on his 30th birthday, he was quiet as mouse and needed to speak up (tut tut)!!! 2 to my beloved nana, hers was the best of all as I was able to pick out ransom words, she spoke very clearly... Me thinks start annoy her with phone calls when I get a new phone.

For those who doesn't know what the coil is it's round thing with magnet in the middle that sticks onto my head.

Auf Wiedersehen for now... A picture of neighbour's sweet cat Stella aka a little Bandit.....She was up our tree eating the bacon rinds left out for the birds and The sunset from my parents house. Enjoy.

New year and new hobby!

2009-01-23T09:05:00.003Z

Last few weeks had been bit of turmoil. I had problems with listening to voices and too much environmental sounds, also the new settings (early Dec) on my processor were strangely too loud, i couldn't turn it down further on my favored program! I asked my usual Audi pre Xmas to check it out but as it's Xmas it was difficult so i had to make do with quiet setting until last Monday.

I went to the centre with list of problems. Before we started with new tune up she did hearing test with the levels I was comfortable at it was 40 db across but with a dip to 50/60 in the middle (1000/2000 Hz), we had no idea why this is happening. She also tested me at my uncomfortable levels (thank god for sound proof room) it was 15/20 with a dip in the middle also. It indicates that there's tweaking needed. Audi also noticed that I was talking very quietly... yeah the setting is too loud for me!

We had quite a long session. I had my DR (dynamic range) moved wider so I have more of quiet sounds (comfort levels) and more of louder sounds (threshold) but balanced if that makes sense (perhaps someone on board will explain better).
We tried slower speed but I found it too flat, we worked on faster speed but similar map to my previous map of slower speed.
I also had my NRT (nerve response test) done, it was done while I was under GA during my cochlear implantation operation to test each electrodes to see the responses to nerves and the thresholds I can tolerate, it is quite unpleasant test, I couldn't do it during my 3 month review. It wasn't too bad this time round, The levels met the thresholds now which is good. The unpleasant ones I had experienced, are the ones switched off (I have 4 off).

Since Monday I had few new experiences, I was tapping away on my computer, watching telly which is quite loud to hearing person I HEARD my washing machine click when it finished!! it was about 30 feet away also I had started to put my phone on ring instead of vibrate alert, and began to notice when it rings not on me but around the house! These sound would have never happened if I didn't go for CI! I was in awe with these sounds.

I had Claire over for the night, her job isn't far from my house, she's also CI user, she had hers for nearly 3 months and is doing well. I asked her if she could hear my dog on the tiles, cat meow... that kind of thing. It was new sounds to her.

I took up new Hobby, Thought it's time to meet groups... Dog Agility. Man, that was fun. Boris and I loved it. It involves alot of listening and communication with the dog, also there's group of us, lots of barking dogs... listening is hard! I had to teach Boris new words like Up (jump over poles) tunnel, weave, left or right, at the same time the coach was yapping (I couldn't understand her without lipreading) but managed to enjoy the fun.

Good grief, i just realised...

2009-01-16T12:32:00.001Z

That.....Yesterday it was A year since i was refered to the Cochlear implant centre for my first intital appointment. And accepted to be put on waiting list for tests , I was expecting about 18 month wait, but I started my assessments few weeks after the appointment. Yes, it was bit of mind boogling time!
It's also had been 6 months to the day since i had the operation and next month i am having my 6 month post activation review.
It seems like yesterday when i was a nervous wreck on my first appt. The operation is still fresh in my mind so was the activication day!

I don't regret it one bit! I tried HA alone, couldn't do it... I put my CI on first thing and last thing of the day, When it sounds awful I just turn it down a bit, then consulted the Audi and it's sorted quite quickly.

Words without lipreading still doesn't make sense to me but my environmental awareness is so much better, My lipreading with voice is also so much better. I understand foregin people much better too as it helps when my parents lives in village of germans, belgians, austrians, and few other Europeans.
The other day I was at hunt, it was a new hunt I have just joined, I made few new friends. I had converstation with a young lady, yakking away, I realised she got an accent and difficult lip pattern but managed to hold converstation without hitch, it wasn't easy when you are talking and riding lively horse at the same time! I asked her if she was a Scot... I was right! yay! It was also first time I wore my riding hat for at least 3 hours without feeling discomfort from the coil.

New CI moment

2009-01-03T12:32:00.003Z

I was busy busy working on something at work. It's very spacious and the floor are hard and covered in lido and hunderds of people lingering about. I began to recongise who's walking up behind me without even looking at them! I got bit of surprise yesterday for the first time when Helen my collegue walked behind towards to me while I was busy sorting out the clothes and in semi focus i thought.... try this.. this is Helen coming, looked up and I was right! So people, you better watch out!

Good bye 2008, Hello 2009

2009-01-01T00:18:00.001Z

As I type this the old year had just gone with bang, Elton John is blasting away on piano making wonderful piece of music which I wouldn't have experinced pre implant. There is fireworks going off outside, lots of popping, bangs, whistling.

Looking back in 2008, It had to be a great year for me because,

I started my Cochlear implant journey on 15th of January 2008.
I had the operation on 16th July.
I heard highs for the first time in my life on 20.08.2008 (notice the date :-))
Began my hearing journey, I have experienced alot of firsts with sounds, made first phone call, first at recognising different sounds. It had been an amazing journey not just for me, for my whole family and friends. I gratefully thankful for them for their incredible patience and curiosity.

I am blessed with my wonderful parents who left British soil for better life in Austria in Feb 2008, this had given me a wake up call and to be self reliant over night, no more texts to mum saying " can you do this, that?" " can you call this that for me" no more popping into their house for help/advice and my dad's suppers (so that i get away from cooking) the list goes on, I managed do most by myself now and some times when things get difficult I have wonderful next door neighbour Lyn, she has got blind mum whom she cares for 24/7, she would also help me in any aspects and phone calls is one of them! Often I ask her to dog sit (she and her mum loved having him) so I can go out and enjoy my life, she would do it without hesitation.

This year, 2009....
I would go to a centre in Lydhurst and try out the phones, hopefully to purchase a proper house phone, not the minicom type, a proper talking phone!
Do more listening practices with use of accessorises from cochlear, website, ipod and computer, thank you Katie-Louise for her great tips.
Find victims to talk to on the phone!

I think this is enough for this year to start off.

And the worst thing in 2008 is jobs... I am out of job as of 17th Jan, sadly, but won't dwell on it as i gotta to think postive (as my brother says)something will come up eventually.

Hope your old year was good one and happy new year.

My Christmas and it's sounds....

2008-12-31T22:31:00.015Z

After distressing time finding a ferry within 2 days of travel after the original ferry went bankrupt, my parents were relieved to be in UK. Over Christmas I had my parents visiting for a week well it feels much shorter than that as it seems to go by so quick. They were staying with friends. Between visiting friends/relatives, My parents had been to my house doing odd jobs around the house. I told them, the bedroom door squeaks, they both looked quite surprised. I had the house for 2 years and the door had been squeaking the whole time. Since I had the implant, it bothers me... so I asked for advice as I never oiled a door before! Petroleum jelly was their advice... now I have quiet house! They also filled the car up with their stuff thay they left behind in Feb as there was no room on the removal lorry! And few english essentials like proper tea bags, marmite, mustard etc. Sadly, They only stayed for a week as they was worried about their home in Austria! They are worried about their roof caving in, as they have so much snow! The first pic is the terrace, about 3 ft snow. Another picture shows my Dad shovelling the snow!!

Since the Christmas festive began, I now can hear the gate outside slamming, it's about 20 yards from my front door. We had few bad carol singers, Yes, I noticed that too. I use my old excuse, "pardon me, I didn't hear that as i am deaf" smiling sweetly and wished them Merry Christmas.

On Xmas day, My brother Stephen and I went to our parents friend's house where we meet our Grandmother. We had wonderful brilliant dinner! It was huge and so nice!, we were so full and couldn't move much! I heard the crackers, champange fizzing.
First picture was the layout for Xmas dinner, there were 9 of us plus 2 dogs. 2nd picture is our grandmother, she's wonderful. 3rd were Stephen and I deep in conversation after opening our presents. Notice Stephen's purple cast, he broke his wrist ice skating!

We didn't open our presents until we had our dinner! My parents and Stephen loved the presents I gave them, my Dad got shirt and pullover, my mum got top and a cardigan, they badly need some clothes as they lost weight working on their house/garden in Austria. Stephen got ipod snuffle. My dog Boris got a honking soft toy Duck which the honk lasted 20-30 mins and he disemboweled it 2 days later! He also got squeaky ring which lasted about few seconds. I got pretty much what I wanted for Xmas, My parents and Stephen being here which would have been enough for me, I also got Ski helmet, monies (I have bought first item, curtains for my bedroom), home made jams/chutneys, chocolates, socks, photo in a frame of my 2 best friends Rosie and Ric.

Overall it was very good Xmas. I hope you all had good one too.

CI Moment...

2008-12-08T08:54:00.003Z

On friday I had the house cleaned top to bottom as my cousin Catherine and her husband Reino was staying for the weekend. Catherine's father who's my Dad youngest brother came "home" from South Africa on a business trip. I haven't seen Uncle Simon for 7 years and Catherine haven't seen him for about 3 years, Reino hasn't yet met his Father in law! He was nervous! Simon only had few days and he was staying at my grandparents not too far from me. So it makes sense that Catherine and Reino to stay with me.
On sat we had almost half the family gathering (Grandparents, my father's 2 brothers, and 2 sisters and their halfs, Catherine, reino and i) for a lunch and tea. it was great afternoon as I could communicate much easier this time round. I also texted to my mum to let her know that we are having Gathering (Mum and dad lives in Austria). The house phone rang, It was my father.

Right..... I had my first phone conversation with my father using my CI! this is long distance phone call and the line was bad as their house is up in the cloud (they live surrounding the mountians) I got.....

Me :- Hello dad,
Dad :- Hello Charlotte
Me:- How are you?
Dad:- I am fine thank you. How are you?
Me:- I am very well thank you

Then it started to go garbled i think it's when i got nervous or somewhat excited!... I gave the phone back to Simon.

I am so pleased that i spoke to dad, i was quite disappointed with his incommunication while i was staying with him back in october cos he was so scared of hurting me, I hope this brief conversation had given him some confidence, looks like this is way forward for both of us as I am daddy's girl and i miss talking to him. He and mum is coming home in few weeks for christmas and i am looking forward to see them so much.

How's tat for my ci moment!! I never really heard on the phone due to rubbish at picking up words. This time it was quite clear!

Cat, Reino and i had great weekend it was so sad to see Cat/Reino heading back to london. Thanks Cat for those fattening chocolates and hope you won't catch my cold which happened on sunday morning.

Love you both, Cat and Reino. And you too Mum and dad.

Beep Beep

2008-12-02T16:01:00.002Z

I heard this sounds, though bugger the Processor is playing up again! So i checked the LCD... it showed H1 = which means Battery low, YES, finally heard the beeping warning to let me know that the batteries is low which gave me ample of time to change the batteries. My Batteries runs out approx every 4 days now, I have started to take ALOT of batteries with me everywhere! I have 2 packets in my locker at work, One in my pocket, One in my bag, one in the car, one at the yard in my horse's trunk (box), there's few packets in Austria.

Saturday's night out

2008-11-18T08:41:00.004Z

Last Saturday was my first proper night OUT with group (7 of us) of hearing friends since being activated.
My very good friend Andy who is leaving to work in Lima, Peru for couple months. He's a huge hairy man that resembles a big fuzzy bear hence his nick name is "Lord Bear"! I have known/worked/travelled with him for many years.

I met Andy and the others in a busy, noisy pub before heading off to "Kuti" for a Thai curry. When we were in the pub... Yes course it's very noisy. Andy kindly explained to me that it's OK to shout in the pub. He realised that since i had the implant, my voice is quieter than it was with my HA's. Also previously when i was in pubs with Andy, He was the only person who understood me as he is a VERY good Lipreader!!!! But he wanted to HEAR me use my voice over the back ground noise. I tried and got there in the end!

In the group, we have a friend Deb, I knew her around since same time as Andy, we started working/travelled together for 3 solid months back in 1999. Deb had very STRONG Geordie accent! I never ever really understood her for many years. Man, she do talk for the world! Never seen her quiet except that 5 minute visit to mostary (sp) near Barcelona, Spain.
Last sat, I UNDERSTOOD HER!! AND could hear her over the background noise...she sure sounds like sandpaper! When Andy asked me what does she sound like I said Sandpaper.... He said... yes, that's bout right!! there were tears of laughter.

The night went very well, I am so pleased with myself, as there were rare times when I tapped someone to repeat. It was a fun night.

My 3 month review

2008-11-12T20:22:00.004Z

Yesterday I had my 3 month review 1 week and a day early than my actual appt on 19th. I was desperately needing a tune up that all of my programs was maxed out for fornight, I noticed I was struggling with understanding people. People commented that I am not responsing well. Sarah my usual Audi was very kind and agreed that I should be seen sooner so booked me for the next day.
Before I had my tune up I had hearing test with CI it was 45db across the board (at one month was 40/35 db)
Also I had problem with my processor AGAIN! I had experinced H5 warning few times and christmas lights flashing (the red light at the ear hook as an adult it should not be flashing or on at all!)Also the keeps processor shutting itself off. So.... I had my processor/coil replaced for the 2nd time in almost 3 months! Oh well.. things happens.
I had a really good tune up as it sounded so much better since when I was first switched on. I actually prefered the fastest speed of 7200 p/s so all of my programs are setted at this speed, P1 is everyday, P2 is Autosensivity, P3 is same as P1 but louder, P4 is my old map pre 3 month but louder in case i am experincing problems with above.
I had my hearing test with CI, it is 30/35 across the board, this is actually MORE than I ever heard with my hearing aids.
I also had CUNY test, Lipreading and listening the first question came up i was shocked to be able to listen/lipread FULL sentence of an unexpressed man! then my grin broke out and grinned through out the test and got excellent 77% (may not be big deal but i only asked for 5% improvement, Pre Implant was 40%, 1 month was 64%)
Sarah, My Audi really wanted me to do listening only test, so I tried... tried... and got one phase which I thought was "the fire engine is red" it was so hard to try to listen for something that made sense. However she stopped after few attempts. "The fire engine is red" is actually "the car engine is running"!!! ALMOST there!! Doh!! Hope I will get something at my 6 month!.
I went straight to London to see my old school/dorm mate, She is a 11 year CI user and we spent all night comparing notes, it was fun! She got very tall house. I could hear Boris the dog barking and my friend's beautiful silver maine coon cat hissing at him from 3 floors up!!!
I am pretty pleased with myself but hitting the walls for not getting enough listening only pratice... not easy when you are single, lives alone well not excatly alone as Boris lives with me but he can't speak.

I am back in Blighty

2008-10-27T08:05:00.004Z

I had lovely relaxing holiday. The weather had been kind, the mountains had snow caps which had disappeared by the end of the week! We had been stuffed with glorious food cooked by Dad and Mum, all the vegetables we had were from their garden and it was delicous.
Sadly I didn't have much pratice with my Ear as I call it, the house they had "semi built" it was rebuilt internally with thick insulation to ward off cold winters, the house is being redecorated beautifully, they had No carpets, No curtians, no soft upholsteries therefore the house is very echoy which I experinced alot of problems trying to block that out after 3 days I got quite stressed so decided it was best not to wear the processor in the house. It's a pity as I really want to do some listening practies with my parents. My dad, still worries about talking to me, he was afraid about how he would sound, when he was talking normally to the family he sounded lovely and soft. He's the type of person that is difficult to reassure it's okay.
My mum sounds amazing (and dad) their voice is clearer and crisper, I used to tell mum to lower her voice when i had the hearing aids it sounded distored high pitch but now i don't need to and often tell her off for whispering, Ha ha! Very happy about this. My brother is clearer too, he is passionate talker, when he talks about something he gets quite excited and talks clear and a little bit louder than normal but in the house although it doesn't sound loud to me, it sounded booming as if i was standing next to 6ft high speakers. It was outside of the house that i don't have problems, I heard crickets! whay hey, they do make high pitch rubbing sounds.. quite tuneful! Tractors (they live near alot of farms), chain saws. Although in the first few days, I heard people talking in other room, people walking on wood floors.
We went to Venice, in Italy (long drive!) it was beautiful, I didn't realise it's actually City of water, there were so many bridges to cross. When we went to St Mark's square it was full of people, pigeons, I could hear them cooing. The Piazza San Marco got bells. When it stroke at 12 and my mum asked me if I could hear something (she didn't say what it was so I had to listen and think), and it was the bells!!.
We did alot of walking, mainly up the mountians where we used to ski, I didn't realise it was so steep without the snow!
As it was nearing halloween, In Austria they are big about halloween like America. I got to carve my very first pumpkin, the pumpkin was also home grown! I enjoyed it so much, My dad also saved the remains of juicy pumpkin for delicous Soup few days later.

My first pumpkin! As you can see i have included the CI!

While we were on holiday we recieved some news from my Grandfather, He had sadly lost his sight in his left eye to blood clot. He's 89 this coming sat and done amazingly well with living independantly and looking after grandma who is diabetic, blind, with limited mobilty. His sight will not be recovered and they are monitoring to preserve his right eye. I wish him well and hope that he'll stay healthy for long as possible. The rest of the family and i are having birthday lunch to celebrate his 89th birthday on Sat.
It was sad to come home, Mum and dad are counting the days until 22nd dec when they will be coming back to UK for Xmas.

Picture of my processor 3 months after the operation and 2 month postactivaction. I had pink Mic cover as October is breast cancer month also I like it! My shaven hair is now approx 2 inches long and yes it grew quite quickly. Altogether with hair down or in pony tail it's barely noticeable!

Austria, here I come!

2008-10-17T11:06:00.004+01:00

In less than 24 hours I would be at the airport checking in with my brother Steve for our trip to our parents house in Austria, We cannot wait! It had been a long time since we last saw them, Mum 3 months and Dad 6 months. Mum came over for my Cochlear implant operation back in July. Neither had met me with the Cochlear Implant activcated. It would be an experience to see what they had to say! It's also a holiday for Steve and I to unwind as we had really busy year and haven't had a proper break for long time also to have dad's brilliant cooking (I am looking forward to that the most, LOL!)Steve and I are in need of good food, sleep and relaxation. I have German and English card just in case and in hope I won't need them.

Few days ago I was experiencing echoy sounds and maxed out 3 of my programs, the centre suggested I go in unscheduled which I went last tuesday, she upped and altered the programs and put 2 of programs with ADRO and AUTOSENSIVITY so I can use it in back ground noises and with my Ipod. The sounds I am hearing now is much clearer not too high, the lows is coming through now. I had started to beable to watch tv with sounds on and heard the dog barking outside which got my attention to let him in this never happened when I had the HA! I realise I am learning to block the background sounds and draw what I need to hear!

Anyway, have a good week.

Amazing weekend!

2008-10-05T17:14:00.007+01:00

Yesterday, I was excited as a kid at Christmas when I received a parcel. Inside was a Ear Hooks for my Ipod. Ear hooks are used like an behind the ear and it beds alongside with the Processor (CI)so I can use it with the processor setted on T-Coil. I did have the Personal Audio Cable that came with the Processor but I was having difficulty listening to the music and trying to block the background noise so Katie-louise recommended the ear hooks which I ordered few days ago. It came just at perfect time as I was about to leave for family gathering over in Isle of Wight.
I was on the Red Jet (Fast Ferry) going over the sea to Isle of Wight when I tried the Ear Hooks and the Ipod, it had made an amazing difference! I can now begin to enjoy the new world of musical sounds... I engrossed in reading my book and listening to music over the loud engine of the Red Jet, I relaxed completely for my journey over to IOW. I was elated! Now I need to print off the lyrics so I could follow the songs.
I was on Isle of Wight spending half of the weekend with my Cousins,Aunts and an uncle, poor him, he was only male in the house along with 7 grown women!! It was great weekend though.
Catherine, my 21 year old cousin, She was born and raised in South Africa (our dad's are brothers) Her accent is quite strong, I understood her no problems, she's so easy to lipread. Catherine had only been in London for 2 years, prior to her move to UK I only met her once when she was a baby. I met her only handful of times in the last 18 months so each visit I never found any problems getting accustomed with her accent and understanding her as I do with other people/families (some).
We was out for a wonderful food and wine! On our way home in the car, it was pitch black, there's no way I would be able to lipread at all.. and I was having a converstation with Catherine with out realising it... Hell, I am talking to Catherine in the dark, this is the first!!! I cannot believe it, I already had idea what she was talking about which made the converstation easy. When we got back to the house... Vicky our cousin said to me "you were having converstation with Catherine in the dark!!, How great is that!" she was so pleased for me aswell as other members of the family.

Bon Voyage Laura.....

2008-10-02T13:59:00.005+01:00

Boris and Tor

Laura in red, Me in White.

My friend Laura and her parnter Miles had just landed in South Africa this morning for few months work in South Africa and then delivering a boat to South America (near cape horn and i have been there!!)for further few months of work with Mission Antarctica , We (our friends/families) won't see her for good few months. And shall miss her alot.

Laura had been (and will always be) an incredible friend, she had been through my cochlear implant assessments, operation and the aftermath. I couldn't have done this journey with ease as I needed someone with incredible patience, calm nature which Laura has and not many people have this. She would often take time out of her busy day to do listening practice at my home. With her help I heard alot of sounds.

Last weekend was her last weekend with us for few months maybe a year, We had wonderful weekend of long walks, fantastic food, wines. Our friends (there was 11 of us) just chipped in with cooking wonderful dinners, making teas, having good banter! Boris and Tor became a good furfriends, they had great time running with the ball and on long walks.

In the last few days I have been helping her pack up her flat so she could rent it out while she's away. I had the responsibility of taking a Hire Van over to Kent nearly 3 hours away where she stored her stuff at her parents house. At her parent's We met up with her 2 sisters for the evening meal and a sleep over. I dropped her off at Heathrow Airport last night, I didn't want to cry in front of her because i don't want her to cry at the airport also she had been wet eyed at the weekend, she was so excited about this trip of lifetime. I was filled with tears seeing a green hooded top and blue jeans figure walking with trolley full of bags as I drove away.

I made my way back to depot where i got the van from. then went into her flat... it was so bare, no life at all... no sounds of laughter, talking, music, dogs playing. Just complete silence. It sent chill down my spine. I have few of Laura's stuff at my house... radio to help with listening, CD player again to help with listening, and a rug for my bare thread carpet. Laura.... don't expect them back, Ha ha. I really hope she would have fantastic time.

One Month Post Activation......

2008-09-24T20:11:00.002+01:00

Here's the results of my one month activation which was today ;-) The centre weren't expecting I would reach this in the first month!! and to gain well in CUNY test (voice and lipreading) Very pleased with my self! The red is my pre implant, and blue is with CI. CUNY Pre Implant was 40%, Post Implant is 64%. Click the picture to enlarge.

Another Birthday Year Had Gone....

2008-09-21T17:40:00.001+01:00

Today is my birthday, it had been a beautiful warm sunny day. I had lunch with my friends at a pub in the countryside, finishing off with a brownie and a candle on it! Gosh, the year had gone so quickly.
Last week it was Boris the dog's 2ND Birthday, he's officially an adult dog now!! It seems like yesterday when I brought him home as tiny puppy, barely big as my dad's hand. He was so cute but fiercely brave dog. However big the opponent is, Boris thinks he's bigger than it! He is really a lovely dog. And Yes, I got him new squeaky ball for his birthday, and today it lost its squeak!!!!! Actually the squeaker lasted a week and it was a record! Normally with those cheap balls wouldn't survive 5 minutes! this ball is (well was) stronger and it did lasts a week!!! I am impressed!

And for me, in the past year it had been a roller coaster, My parents move to another country, jobs, doing up the house, racing on the boat, and the implant which put everything on hold!. Now as an implantee, I can relax and look forward to new year of new hearing, start enjoying my holidays, able to race more that I am sorted out CI wise, I have few jobs lined up for the winter as the yachting season is nearly finished.

Oh, I had hair cut last week, It wasn't too bad until the hair dresser gave me head massage and touched the painful spot! I grimaced and politely said to her you can forget the head massage for now. It was fine other wise. I felt so much better and lighter with hair cut.

Dear Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends, Thank you for the cards. Charlotte xxx

Clip Clop Clip Clop!

2008-09-12T19:55:00.000+01:00

Today, I went to see my horse, Buck and brought him in for a brush and bit of food, I heard him wickering when he saw me and after I tethered him, we walked on the tarmac I heard him walking, he had shoes on. It was awesome!!!

I also heard Boris the dog eating his dinner... god he must be a loud eater!! and him lapping up water. :-)

Today had been good day :-)

Little update

2008-09-11T13:20:00.000+01:00

I went back to the centre today to have my processor tuned up as I was maxed out, When the processor were turned up I had this awful feelings again as I did on my activcation day. Understandably I was so worried and it felt like I took a lot of steps back, I thought I went to the centre because I was improving! Sarah tried alot of ways for about 45 mins then eventually she ended up turning 4 of the electrodes off, Ahhh...thats is so much better and Sarah were able to turn things up as loud as I could bear without feeling the jolts on the side of my head. I think I have 10,11,12,13 turned off and 1,2 switched back on, I can hear her counting clear as day, also hear her saying the days of the week (of course with lipreading), 3 of programs are now same but different loudness and on P4 i have faster speed. I was relieved! I can now hear myself talking clearer and the telly is clearer too... Hope this is the way forward from now on... :-)

I am looking forward to my first hair cut with the CI next thursday! It had been nearly 5 months since I had my hair trimmed! In April I knew I would be implanted so didn't bother having my hair done.
Did you explain to the hairdresser that you have an implant on your head? did you tell them to be gentle? Any tips greatly appericated. Thank you

I miss my Mum and Dad

2008-09-07T09:41:00.000+01:00

After reading Katie-Louise's post about her talking to her Grandad on the phone had brought me to happy tears! And I realised that I miss my parents, we are very close family, I haven't seen my Dad since April and my Mum since my operation in July. They live in Austria and had been since Feb. When they were living in UK, they had been brilliant supportive with phone calls, sorting the important things out for me. I have been doing those since they left and it was pretty hard but eventually I started to pull through and managed myself but I hate using the phone, I use Type talk but most of the time it's just horrible to use. I do have lovely family (aunts, uncles, cousins, Grannies and Grandad) all round me. But my mum and dad are so special to me.
My parents haven't yet seen me with my CI. It would be so wonderful to share the experience with them.
I am SOOOO looking forward to flying out to Austria with my brother, Stephen, at end of October.

And one day I WILL pick up the phone to say I love them.

CI Moment....

2008-09-06T08:09:00.000+01:00

I decided that I don't like my first 2 programs (both 2000 p/s at diferent loudness), I did really liked them at the centre but since I realised I couldn't hear voices well as previous programs, the tapping of my computer went quiet, I couldn't hear my cat purring unless she's right next to my ear! So I Jumped to P3 (which is 4000 p/s) and see what happens... I turned the telly on, a kids program (not telly tubbies) was on, in almost clear english I was able to follow what they were saying with subtitles (and DO know if they missed a word out of the sentence!!)At the same time I had Fan heater on (it was freezing last night!!) I was able to block that sound and listened to the TV! and this is without the HA!

Now I need to get dressed for Marwell zoo, SOECIC had kindly invited the patients and their families to the zoo for the day. There is going to be 350 of us going!! I am looking forward to it and hoping to hear some more sounds and the animals!

New Processor

2008-09-05T18:15:00.000+01:00

Today, i tried the processor again, still not right. I had to work today. So I went to work without the Processor and use the HA (in my other ear) It was howling with winds and torrential rain, I was drenched to the bone working on the Boat... I texted to the centre to see if i could get appt after the weekend. I got reply, can you come at 4pm TODAY.. With big smile I said "Yes". I still really need to get this boat ready for the weekend, there was so much to do so I worked through lunch. Come at 3.30 with a very wet dog and I, we made our way to the centre only 15 mins away.

Sarah my Audio was bit baffled on how i couldn't hear her voice with processor/controller itself but I could hear her if the processor is connected to the computer, so out come is a new processor and controller! Sarah had also tuned my levels down a bit as last settings were bit much.... now it's better.

I heard my cat purring when she was on my shoulder....... thats one of sounds i wanted to hear so that's ticked off the list ;-)

Better have bath now before I catch cold as I am still shivering from this morning.

Dartmouth....

2008-09-05T17:57:00.000+01:00

I had been to the Centre again on the 3rd of September for another tune up. I have now got 4 programs, 2 is ARDO (i think) and is setted at 2000 p/m (pulses per min) and the other 2 is at 4000 and 7200. I was on the P1 when i left the centre... I was given list to listen for and recongise... umm that's gonna be hard as single lady who lives on her own, detecting sounds and identifying them seems to be impossible as they sound same! But time will tell. I also had hearing test with CI and HA, They both were 70db across the audiogram... whay hey! the highs had made exist on the audiogram! The lows were with HA and the highs were with CI. I was delighted with how things went today.
Just before my tune up I had agreed to my boss to deliver 2 boats back to Hamble for friday, thinking I would need to leave Hamble for Dartmouth on thursday morning... nope we left Wednesday evening after a very quick pasta and sauce, dropping my dog off at neighbours. There were 4 of us in a hire car, the drive took nearly 3 hours, we arrived in Dartmouth at 11.30, I was already exhausted from the tune up. We were talking about when to leave... and agreed on leaving at 5 am to catch the tide out. I went to sleep at midnight, and woken up with lights, grr (I HATE THAT!) at 4.30, donned on my warm clothes, and wet weather gear on. I didn't put my processor on as it was forecasted wet! It was Pitch black when we left, a sign that winter is on it's way boo hoo. My skipper and I made our way, pulled full main up and headed out to the open sea... PERFECT the wind were right on our back which the trip was short and we were home for tea!. With the wind and full main out we crusied quite fast, flowing over the surfs clocking up high speeds, I beat my skipper! he he. We arrived at Hamble 12 hours later, VERY VERY tired but glad to be back home.
When I got home, had shower, and went out for supper with Laura. I wore my processor at this time.... something not quite right. I couldn't turn it down as it still sound same and very very high pitched... I couldn't hear the tell sounds...
I thought... oh bugger! No chance of calling the centre tonight to arrange the appt for today (fri).

Ew aw ew aw!

2008-09-01T11:13:00.000+01:00

Today I took Boris for his morning walk and it was the first time I actually turned towards the sound of an ambulance with sirens going...

Also the plane going overhead.... a long humming

the wind (it's very windy here) is becoming louder and clear as whistle.

Wicked!!!

What was that?! 26-8-08

2008-08-31T15:04:00.000+01:00

I picked up my keys and heard something, put the keys down and tried to find the noise.... gave up as it was completely silent... ummm.. then picked the keys up, realised it was the keys!! YAY!

My dog pestered me to play with his squeaky toys all day, I took it off him as it was driving me nuts. Poor Boris I had to hide his squeaky toys. He was wondering why as pre implant he used to play with them all day long.... Sorry, Boris I'll find you something else quieter!

So Keys jangling and squeaky toys to add on the list.

And oh the blinking indicator of my car.

The world is so noisy!!!! 25-8-08

2008-08-31T14:55:00.000+01:00

Wow, the world is so noisy I had trouble working out what sounds they are. My brother Stephen went back to london and I had so many people over for the weekend due to local festival, and sailing.

It was my first sail since the switch on, sadly not this time I had heard anything I wanted to hear BUT could hear the wind faintly only if I had the microphone facing towards the wind, sounds like whoosh..

I was much happier with the setting, Sarah had given me and was able to wear the processor and HA 13 plus hours every day, I had very late nights at the weekend.

As everyone had gone home, today was Bank holiday Monday, I put the telly on mute. I tried to listen for things, I heard on P3 without HA... and never heard pre implant!

Computer tapping!
Water running (this is loud)
Rustling of plastic bag
Wind.
Slicing meat on glass board
Knife and fork on plate
Myself breathing!!
Rice being poured into empty sauce pan.

2nd map 22-8-08

2008-08-31T14:41:00.000+01:00

Today was my 2nd map, Stephen came with me again.

I told Sarah that I wasn't happy and got upset with the sounds as it sounded like a constant whine, she changed the programs completely and tried different program, I have no idea what my previous program was but this time it was SPEAK. Ah.... so much better!, My faint feeling went with the old program. I was feeling alot happier. I could hear the cymbals! and people talking. It doesn't sound normal, just in high pitch squeaks but is clearer than before, I could tell when they stopped talking. Again Sarah setted this in 3 different levels so I can increase in comfort.

I had Rehab again, this time we had sylablles pratice. I got most of it right, Horray! I never heard words let alone sylablles before. I could tell the difference between one sylablles to multiple sylablles.

Yesterday I couldn't contain my excitement, I went out and bought ice blue Ipod even I won't be able to use it for while yet! I can play games on it though if anything fails.

Switch on day,

2008-08-31T14:22:00.000+01:00

To be honest I was really nervous and was glad that my brother Stephen could spare his time off work (he works in london) and spent few days with me. My nana came along aswell. They have been wonderful.

The switch on was at SOECIC with my usual Audiologist Sarah. She started very low, slowly increasing the volumes as I wasn't hearing anything but started to feel faint which is signs of stimulation. She stopped and went back few steps... tried from high, I listened very carefully a faint beep beep came... But I was still having faint feelings, she tried, I tried so hard aswell. She setted the processor at low and with 3 programs which I can turn up until I am comfortable and not feeling faint/dizzy. I couldn't hear the drum or anything at all, just high pitch whine. It was very tiring day so we left as it is. I also had rehab after the switch on.

About 10 of my electrodes were turned on today. I was bit worried that I was doing it wrong as I can't hear a thing but a whine. But managed to wear the processor and HA for the rest of the day.

29th July - Got my Date of Activication

2008-08-31T14:20:00.000+01:00

It's on 20th August, 5 weeks post operation.

I cannot wait until I am back on the waters... I am going to race in Cowes week next week but I won't be doing a thing just take it easy and enjoy the race.

2 weeks post Operation

2008-08-31T14:04:00.000+01:00

I went back to Nuffield Hospital with my Aunt Deb (uncle Peter's wife and my dad's sister)
My steri strips came off and the ear wick came out, it stinks of antiseptic! eugh! The wound is so neat! Good job Mr Ashcroft! ;-) And at last I can wash my hair properly, In the last 2 weeks I had Laura or my mum to help me to wash my hair without getting the wound wet. I asked Mr Ashcroft when I could get back to sailing, he said give it another week and I could go racing (it was Cowes week) but I had to be careful and stay at the back of the boat.

Collected my new toys!!! But cannot use them until my Activication date.

21st July - Mum goes home.

2008-08-31T13:57:00.000+01:00

I was bit glad of getting my house back but would miss my mum so much she was great. I took Boris for my first walk today since the operation, I was quite tired due to the drugs i was taking and the GA dissolving in my body, I often fall asleep at about 2/3pm every day since the operation for few days. Other than that I was in very good health.

The Turban comes off

2008-08-31T13:51:00.000+01:00

Friday 18th July, It was 48 Hours since I had the operation, I had check up with my surgeon, Mr Ashcroft, and to remove the turban. The surgeon was pleased with my progress. I was bit shocked on how much hair he had removed!

The day is finally here.. 16th July.

2008-08-31T12:56:00.000+01:00

I woke up at about 6, opened the curtians. Saw a pretty grey and white cat lying in the road thought it was sleeping, we have alot of cats on this street. I have one so it's not new to see cats lounging about in the sunshine on the roads also it was very quiet road.

Went to mum's room and told her about the cat as I have the feeling something isn't right.

I had quick shower and took Boris, my dog, for quick walk. Mum went to see the cat, sadly it was victim of a car. Mum moved the cat into my garden (I have fenced front garden) and took it's tags off so she'll call the owners when we get to the hospital.

We Arrived at the Nuffield Hospital in Chandlers Ford and it was only 15 mins drive. I arrived at 7 am. I was assigned to my own room right next to nurses station probably because I am deaf. I had my own nurse well 4 nurses through out my stay at the hospital.

At 7.30 I srrived into my room, there was good luck balloons and a present from my friend Abbi. It was lovely balloons and the present was a teddy bear which I put on my bed. My nurse "Mary" she was lovely. She took my vitals, said my vitals couldn't be any better than 100% sats, got me to wear those pressure socks, I changed into gown and put dressing gown on. My Anesthesist came in huffing and puffing, he checked my forms etc and dashed out! He was good looking one, shame he didn't stay any longer! My mum called to the cat's owner, it was so sad, the cat was called Gizmo and was only a year old.

My operation was scheduled for 8.30. Bang just before my time Mary walked with me to the theatre which is about 10 steps away! I laid on the bed while the staff put the pads on, put cannula in, my surgeon came in and said it will be okay. Mary was asking me what I would dream about, I said sailing in the caribean.. the mask was put on me and the drugs were put in, at excatly same time I looked at the analogue clock, it read 8.30 am, poof, I was gone.

I came round, everything were in a blur and saw the clock which said 9.05 i thought damn the operation didn't go ahead for some reason but the different nurse saw me and said "All Over", I was bit confused and saw Mary, I was relieved for a familar face, Mary said, It's quarter to one and the operation went very well, I was under for 4 hours. The other nurse was my new nurse as there was shift change over, but Mary being so nice and considerate she stayed until I came round properly. The new one was called Lorna.
They checked if I was in any pain, nope, feeling sick, nope, dizzy, nope. I was wheeled back to my room. I was very thirsty. My mum and nana was waiting. I was given Injection of antibiotics, dressed in my Pj's just before Mary went home. I walked (with Lorna's help)to the toilets less than an hour after my op! Mum and Nana left at about 3pm I spent rest of the afternoon drifting in and out. I was asleep until my Uncle Peter came over (he lives in Chandlers Ford) at about 5pm, I was so hungry! They gave me some sandwiches and soup, whilst eating the surgeon saw me and was pleased to see me sitting up and eating. My friend Laura came over. It was lovely to see her. Had another nurse change over, Erica, another very nice nurse, she admistered another injection of antibiotics, it was irritating and horrible, it took good 10 mins to get all in, I think it was 50ml, a huge injection but I was glad it was the last one. I had good nights sleep and had slept on my implanted side with no problems.
I was discharged the next morning after x-ray and went home with bag of pills, I had Anti biotics, anti inflammatories and painkillers which they advised me to take them anyway to keep fever abay even I wasn't in any pain. Here picture of me the day I got home from the hospital.

My X-Rays

13th July - 15th July

2008-08-31T12:50:00.000+01:00

I flew home...... :-( I am going to miss all the fun and my dear team! My boss gave me jobs to do when I get home and I would be doing them on my own as the rest of staff is in Cork!! I guess thats good as it would keep me busy until the operation.

I spent the next 2 days working very hard, and good job my mum was here (she came over to look after my dog while I sail to Cork and to look after me after the operation) she had helped me alot even she is a land lubber and doesn't know much of sailing terms!! But she had learnt some.

15th July - I had my pre Op appt with Mr Ashcroft this evening, he said.. perfectly healthy and he'll see me tomorrow morning... I was so excited but nervous aswell...

8th to 12th July, the delivery to Cork

2008-08-31T12:44:00.000+01:00

It was horrible trip, the boat was pounding all the time and the wind was on the nose the whole way, we only managed to sail for a bit but had to motor most of the way so we could get to Ireland on time after many delays due to horrible weather, I was sick as dog on the last day of the trip, I had no idea why i was sick as i never had been seasick before. Come to thinking that i may be nervous about upcoming operation, missing the fun in Cork, i was also very cold and damp due to my waterproof trousers leaking like a sieve! Oh well... never mind. I was fine as soon I saw Ireland in view!

Few days ago I asked my Audiologist if I could wear HA in my left ear, I had not worn HA in it for 15 years due to on going Tinntius. Sarah agreed that it might help a bit if I had HA in my left seeing as I am having my good ear implanted. So I have a pair of HA's now.

4th June;- The date for the big day

2008-08-31T12:30:00.000+01:00

I got letter from SOECIC informing me that my operation will be on 16th July. My surgeon would be Mr Ashcroft and it will be at private hospital (I was hoping for that!!). My pre op would be on 8th july but since I am already booked to deliever a boat to Ireland so they changed the date to 15th July, 2 days after I fly home. God, it's so close! I was bit disappointed that i would miss the CORK WEEK (it's yacht race/festival) but there's always next time. I am not going to delay the Operation any longer!

Funding is in Place

2008-08-31T12:25:00.000+01:00

This morning i recieved letter post stamped 13th May (I was at SOECIC), I was wondering what it was about since we had no appointment planned until the funding is in place.

It was long and thick letter, it said.... FUNDING HAS BEEN APPROVED! Whooooo hoo! I was over the moon. Now it's just an operation date to wait for....

13th May, Finally another new Aid

2008-08-31T12:18:00.000+01:00

I went to SOECIC to get replacement HA, I got unitron analogue and it was better than otcion/seimens but not good as widex. Sarah my Audiologist and I agreed it will be okay until I get the funding and operation. I asked Sarah what is the progress on the funding, she spoke to the director and they haven't heard anything yet, they are still waiting. Looks like I am in for a long wait.

The D-Day 18th April

2008-08-31T12:09:00.000+01:00

I woke up with butterflies in my stomach, to put it out of my mind and went to work. At lunchtime I was about to leave for home, I got a text message from Nikki at SOECIC........I AM A CANDIDATE!!!! then my excitement dimissed... they need to apply for funding (At the time i thought they already got the funding) which could be a while. Oh well at least I am candidate and that's one step forward. I texted my mum who is in Austria, she cried in the middle of the garden centre and my dad was panicky as he was worried that mum had recieved bad news but when mum told him the news he was elated. Mum then called my nan (she lives near me but don't have mobile phone) she cried too.

Mum and Dad's Visit 8th April

2008-08-31T12:04:00.000+01:00

It was 2 months since I last saw them, they moved to Austria for a better life since they both are now retired. It was lovely to see them. My mum called to SOECIC to see if i haven't missed anything and to keep her in the loop also I haven't heard from the centre for while and there were no news on replacement HA. The centre said they will get back to me when they find a suitable HA for me to wear. And the Decsion day would be on 18th April! That is 10 days away, sadly my parents won't be here to share the news.

Good night to Widex senso 2000 - 2008

2008-08-31T11:48:00.000+01:00

18th March, seems like my Widex had finally given up it's life. I used my otcion... damn, it malfunctioned! I am nowhere near my Hospital and they only do HA checks Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays, Tomorrow is Wednesday, I couldn't go as I was fully booked at work, Friday is Good Friday so they won't be open, the following Monday is bank holiday Monday so again they won't be open! I have my cousin's wedding this weekend..... not good. I remembered vaguely that I still have Phonak analgoue HA somewhere, but would it be working as I haven't worn it since i got Widex. Looked and looked everywhere.... Boxes to boxes, then I found "childhood" box... it was in there not only one but TWO... Since I only wear one in my good ear (right) the more the better. Tried them, one of it is flat out dead, so tried the other one it's working, least I have some sounds for the weekend. I have sent email to SOECIC informing them that I would need replacement HA, I would have gone to hospital but the open clinic hours is very short and there is so many deaf old people, I didn't have time to wait 3 hours before being seen then they say sorry and come back next time only to have same problem repeated, I work full time, I have to take alot of unpaid time off to attend this.

Final Appointment

2008-08-31T11:29:00.000+01:00

It had been a while since my last appointment, Today is 17th March and it's expectations meeting, when I arrived at SOECIC, I was given a questionnaire!! I don't do questions! I was staring at it looking puzzled! one of question was "would you expect to hear same again?" what...I was born deaf and haven't heard much! one of the ladies came in and said, that wasn't supposed to be for me it was for post ligual people!, I was relieved! I had "verbal" questionnarie with Nikki. Thank god, It was very relaxed meeting. In few mins she gave me a form, I looked at it... it was a form for chosen implant.... but I haven't been accepted yet, she said... according to my "successful" assessments I may need to make choice of which implant I want.... I was getting so excited and had butterflies in my tummy!! She didn't say that I am candidate, I have to wait for the Decision day (god knows when will that be, it could be a while as my CT scan hasn't arrived yet).

I chose Freedom, because of it reliblity, 4 programs,Gore-tex microphone covering which I would beable to use it while sailing and working outside, battery life and the comfort of wearing it. I also chose Chocolate brown.

The ABR test

2008-08-31T11:20:00.000+01:00

27th Feb 2008:- I had the ABR test, and another test (i forgot what is it called) to test the cochlea. I have slightly active auditory and the Cochlear isn't responding so my deafness lies somewhere in the cochlea. With the scan it will tell if I am suitable for the Implant. My friend Ilona was there as support, she's an implantee herself and I had asked her loads of questions.

I had repeat hearing test with the otcion, they stopped just after the test started as they realised I wasn't responsing to ANYTHING! So back with Widex and kept Otcion as spare.

20th Feb 2008

2008-08-31T11:05:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I had the menigtits jab, it wasn't too bad as I am not fan of needles but boy the pain afterwards, I had big lump aswell. I was pretty sore for few days. Lucky it was in the left arm as I am right hander.

Today we had users group. My hearing friend, Laura, came with me. I took her as I thought she would be interested in hearing other people's views with CI. Although the talk was very good, I was little disappointed that the implantees were Post-Ligual deaf or late deafen, to me they already knows what the sounds were before they went deaf and adapted to CI quite quickly whereas in my and 2 other's case is completely different as we were born deaf. We do need an input from an implantee who was born deaf.
In the afternoon we get to look at 3 different devices, Cochlear, Advanced Bionics, and Med-EL. we learnt about them and tried them on to see how it feels. I didn't like the Med-el. I had choices between Cochlear and Advanced bionics. Laura had very pleasant day and really enjoyed it, she tried the processors on as well so it was fun too. She had been wonderful support. If you are reading this, you are a star.

18th Feb 2008

2008-08-31T10:58:00.001+01:00

This morning at 10.45 I recieved a post from the Hospital saying that my CT scan had been changed from 4.30 pm to 11.30 am of same day and that was today. In utter mad rush I dropped everything, chunked my poor bewildered puppy into his crate, texted my colleuge that I will be late for work and made dash to the hospital which is 30 mins away and the parking is very small!!. I made it there with few mins spare and they were late, groans!!

The CT scan itself was very quick, it was literally like in and out within 10 mins.

New Aids Again

2008-08-31T10:51:00.001+01:00

12th Feb 2008 :- I went back to the hospital to get new aids, this time it was Otcion spirit SP 3. Again it was no good use to me but I took it anyway in case my old Widex gives up. Otcion would give me little environmental sounds but not much of speech sounds.

The Initial Assessment, 15th Jan 2008

2008-08-31T10:38:00.000+01:00

The posts is extracts from my dairy and emails to my parents who lives in Austria.

This is the first appointment I had at the South of England Cochlear Implant Centre. The assessment tells them if the assessment is worthy enough to get on to the CI candidacy assessments.
When I got my new hearing aid (siemens) back in september 2007 at the new hospital wasn't working so they used my old aids Widex which I had for 8 years.
The first assessment i had was hearing test. In my right ear my loss is 95db at 250hz sloping down, i have no High freq recored. In my left the loss is 110db sloping down, again with no High freq, I haven't worn an aid in this ear for 15 years due to ongoing tinntius problem.
The lipreading with aid in was 41%, without sound it was 28% and without lipreading a measly 2%! I was laughing at this as i really tried so hard to hear A word! it was impossible.
The audiologist did say I may not benefit from getting CI. I visited the consulant he said same thing BUT he wanted to see me again... Phew, He said i have very good speech (for a profoundly deaf) and would like to see how the tests would go.
Few days later I had pile of letters on my door step, counted them 6 from the SOECIC! all listed with appointments! Most of them in Feb and Feb is just round the corner.. so soon!

The beinging of my journey to cochlear implant candidacy

2008-08-31T09:16:00.000+01:00

I had spent few years thinking about getting CI due to my lack of hearing with HA. I went to a hospital for years, presuading them for years to let me have one but they said that there is absolute no way that I would be candidate for Cochlear Implant as I was deaf too long and had no auditory memory. Well they were wrong as when I moved to new area, I was refered to new ENT and Audiology. I went to see the Audiologist as I needed new hearing aids. At this point I thought I wouldn't bother asking them about CI as I would get same reply as the other hospital. The Audiology wasn't happy with me and new aids, so he refered me to see ENT.

On the 10th of September I had an Appointment with ENT, the first question after "hello" (obviously), he said have you thought about Cochlear Implant? As you can guess I had to check my mum if I lipread him correctly. The journey had began...

Little about me.

2008-08-31T09:02:00.000+01:00

I thought I would set this up so you can read my progress with my Journey with Cochlear Implant. I was born Profoundly Deaf, with recent CT scan (for CI) it revealed that I have no hairs on my Basilar Membrane. I was brought up oral with little sign, mainstreamed primary school then on to Oral Deaf Secondary School. I spent 4 years at mainstream college with a note taker. I had spent a lot of my time with hearing friends and works in hearing environment. I also have deaf friends and most of them were from same school as i went.

Why "Silent Sail" as my title... Sailing is my love! I love being on the water, it's also my livelhood. The problem is.... I couldn't hear the ocean, wind, slapping of the water against the boat. It was one of the sounds dreamed of hearing....